April 17, 2015

7 things Stephen Harper would beat Justin Trudeau at

Rebel Staff
 

A new Ipsos Reid poll has Stephen Harper's Conservatives topping Justin Trudeau's Liberals in federal election polls. 

Harper beating Trudeau is no shock to the Rebel audience, let's take a look at what else the Prime Minister would beat the Shiny Pony at.

 
1.  A Math Test



Canada's financial outlook has risen under Harper's Conservative government despite a global recession.  Trudeau, on the other hand... is busy figuring out the difference between decimals and "decibels".  Justin will hope the math test "will look after itself" along with his budget.

 2.  Music Talent Show



The Prime Minister delighted onlookers as he performed the piano and vocals with his band at the Conservative Christmas party this past December.  He also surprised guests at a National Arts Centre gala back in 2009 as he took the stage to play the piano and sing along with cellist Yo-Yo Ma.

 
3.  Hockey game



Humble about his skills on the ice, Harper can still skate circles around the Liberal leader with his knowledge of the history of the game, even writing a book on the matter 'A Great Game'.  Trudeau, however, just finds himself constantly on thin ice.

 4.  Curling



 Hockey isn’t the only sport on ice the Prime Minister loves… he’s also a big curling fan.  Harper would drop the hammer on Trudeau if the two ever squared off in a curling match.

 5.  Acting



 
Who knew the Prime Minister was a big movie & television buff.  Harper is a huge fan of Murdoch Mysteries and even made a cameo appearance on the show.  The only thing we’ve seen the Liberal leader on lately are those dreadful Liberal ads.

 
6.  Spanish Class



 Not only does Harper speak English and French fluently, he has been working on his Spanish speaking skills.  He used the newly acquired skill during a visit with the President of Chile.

 7.  Cats



 Not really a talent or a skill… but we couldn’t resist putting these adorable creatures onto the list.  The Prime Minister is famous for his love of cats while advocating for the SPCA and Humane Society.

Comments
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commented 2015-04-29 16:10:09 -0400
Yes I sure did and it’s nice to know this and that JT is useless to say the least
commented 2015-04-22 01:30:56 -0400
I can only hope all those kids in Menzies piece, forget what day it is and stay in watching cartoons on voting day.
I too am looking forward to the debates.
commented 2015-04-21 22:22:59 -0400
As inadequate as junior is don’t write him off, remember what happened south of us, they elected a President with Zero accomplishments and from what I see general electorate here is no brighter.
commented 2015-04-21 17:23:07 -0400
Can hardly wait for Harper to put
Justin Muhammad Trudeau on his ass in
The Debate
Justin WILL show the world the True Fool
He really is. And that’s only the easy Questions. Justin isn’t man enough to stand up to the Leaders of the World. Mama Maggie probably still cuts baby Justin’s dinner for him.
Harper on the other hand is a big strong handsome man. Has NOTHING to prove. He already made his bones over the years. Potheads and Muslims are Justin’s only hope of Maybe Winning. Harper gets the votes from the more intelligent Canadians who knows whose who in this Zoo !!
Leave trust fund baby in the dirt.
Go Steven Go !!!
commented 2015-04-21 17:21:09 -0400
Can hardly wait for Harper to put
Justin Muhammad Trudeau on his ass in
The Debate
Justin WILL show the world the True Fool
He really is. And that’s only the easy Questions. Justin isn’t man enough to stand up to the Leaders of the World. Mama Maggie probably still cuts baby Justin’s dinner for him.
Harper on the other hand is a big strong handsome man. Has NOTHING to prove. He already made his bones over the years. Potheads and Muslims are Justin’s only hope of Maybe Winning. Harper gets the votes from the more intelligent Canadians who knows whose who in this Zoo !!
Leave trust fund baby in the dirt.
Go Steven Go !!!
commented 2015-04-21 17:12:12 -0400
Yes I liked. I am also happy Mr.Harper
Likes Cats. I am an animal lover & have had cats all my life.
Harper For Prime Minister " AGAIN "
Poo on Trudeau !! He is A flake and a
Trust fund baby !
Justin isn’t even A Man yet. He just wears
Mans pants.
commented 2015-04-20 21:19:30 -0400
Harper could beat Justin at standing up to Putin, and dealing with the States until (hopefully) a capable Republican gets in. Can you imagine what Putin would think of Canada with Justin. Kiss our northern resources goodbye.
commented 2015-04-20 18:03:19 -0400
Bet he could beat Harper on Sharia’h Law.
commented 2015-04-19 22:34:59 -0400
That is a good point Erin. What the heck! Margaret did indeed say it was a part of her mental illness, and Justin has made no mention of it.
commented 2015-04-19 21:55:58 -0400
Correction to James Smith: #2 on your list… Trudeau Jr. and Maggie don’t see eye to eye on the marijuana issue. She abhors the stuff, sees marijuana as the gateway drug that inaugurated her long battle with depression and other mental health issues. Justin’s never acknowledged that, however.
commented 2015-04-19 21:35:18 -0400
Something like, I had a few up my sleeve, but restrained myself.
commented 2015-04-19 20:55:44 -0400
Liza, That’s why he calls himself “Fecal Point”. All his points are “fecal”.
commented 2015-04-19 19:59:32 -0400
There is only one thing I am interested in seeing Stephen Harper beating Justine Trudeau at. The next federal election.
commented 2015-04-19 12:25:47 -0400
I would personally like to have a Political Party, that is of the Judeo Christian ideal. I would never vote Liberal, because theat party, along with the New Democratic Party, and the Freens are all Communist, and Socialist agenda. This would place our great Nation of Canada into severe Bondage. Therefore, there can be only one choice. Conservative Party of Canada. is the only clear choice for the moment.
commented 2015-04-19 10:40:37 -0400
First of all, when it comes to political satire, Rick Mercer would skate circles around Lilley. Second, Harper jamming with Yo Yo Ma makes him a total hypocrite when at the same time, he was trying to axe arts funding. And third, Trudeau would clean Harper’s clock in a three-round boxing match. Or did all you reactionary nutjobs forget the time Brazeau kissed canvas?
commented 2015-04-18 21:39:55 -0400
The thing used to be called a ‘general election’, but now the U.S. ‘federal’ is more and more frequently used. The needless Americanisation of Canadian English is due mostly to our feeble education system(s), and our addiction US television. I remember when Canadians went to ‘book shops’ and ‘shoes shops’ rather than ‘stores’, and when programme had two ’m’s. How passive we Canadians have become! When the Chinese take over the world shall we begin greeting each other with ‘nee how’?
commented 2015-04-18 21:39:55 -0400
The thing used to be called a ‘general election’, but now the U.S. ‘federal’ is more and more frequently used. The needless Americanisation of Canadian English is due mostly to our feeble education system(s), and our addiction US television. I remember when Canadians went to ‘book shops’ and ‘shoes shops’ rather than ‘stores’, and when programme had two ’m’s. How passive we Canadians have become! When the Chinese take over the world shall we begin greeting each other with ‘nee how’?
commented 2015-04-18 21:39:55 -0400
The thing used to be called a ‘general election’, but now the U.S. ‘federal’ is more and more frequently used. The needless Americanisation of Canadian English is due mostly to our feeble education system(s), and our addiction US television. I remember when Canadians went to ‘book shops’ and ‘shoes shops’ rather than ‘stores’, and when programme had two ’m’s. How passive we Canadians have become! When the Chinese take over the world shall we begin greeting each other with ‘nee how’?
commented 2015-04-18 20:25:42 -0400
PM Harper’s a handsome man.A lot more manly looking that the wimp looking JT Trudeau.Don’t forget the PM’s also a writer,and a true Canadian,as he doesn’t live in Quebec.
commented 2015-04-18 20:00:36 -0400
I might add, Harper speaks MY language, can’t understand Trudeau, the son of the worst Prime Minister this country ever had.
commented 2015-04-18 19:04:52 -0400
7 things that Justin can do better than Harper
1 rolling a joint and smoke it with mom
2 baffle audiences by talking for hours and nobody has a clue what he is talking about
3 being tolerant about everything and having very strict rules about what everybody must do and think
4 have CBC try to defend him when he really screws up
5 having left-wingers love him but never really knowing why
6 being a communist and being rich at the same time
7 acting…..oh sorry he can’t
commented 2015-04-18 17:20:37 -0400
There is no question that Harper has more talent than the shiny pony, but the most important thing that Harper has the shiny pony will never have is maturity and a significantly higher IQ.
commented 2015-04-18 16:48:21 -0400
I particularly love the Rowan Atkinson bit.
commented 2015-04-18 15:41:13 -0400
#8…..as leader of anything…. we will be well rid of prince zoolander and his smoke and mirrors..
commented 2015-04-18 15:01:00 -0400
You forgot one:
8. PM Harper would undoubtedly kick Justin’s ass in a bare-knuckle bout, seriously kick it!
How much more interesting would that be to watch on Pay TV, than ‘The Great Simpering Pussy Match’ with Trudeau and Brazeau?
My father, who was an ex pro boxer, told me that boxers are some of the most conditioned and fit athletes in sports, but that boxing was 90% brains!
…seriously kick it!
commented 2015-04-18 12:19:16 -0400
Wait … Harper loves cats? This changes everything. I’m allergic to cats!
commented 2015-04-18 09:26:44 -0400
I am looking forward to THE debates. They should prove to be funnier than anything the CBC or the Comedy Channel can produce. I just hope that Trudeau does not cry on TV………… Wait! Hey, why not?
commented 2015-04-17 17:13:58 -0400
Well, Trudope (reference to marijuana policy)does not really need the PM job. He does have his daddy’s trust fund and Mercedes after all………..n’est pas?
commented 2015-04-17 16:51:46 -0400
troodo is a supreme idiot
ONWARD!!