May 10, 2016

#Trigglypuff: The connection between Pokémon and SJWs (with BONUS dance mix video!)

Joshua LiebleinRebel Blogger
 

Ever since #Trigglypuff starting trending I've been thinking about the connection between Pokémon and SJWs.

Is there a better way to expose the SJW agenda for the ridiculous circus it is than treating them like collectible monsters who battle each other in a colourful video-game and/or anime setting where the rules of reality don't apply?

Because that's kind of what they are anyway:

-Pokémon have silly names that are based on puns, and SJWs have crazy Tumblr IDs

-Like Pokémon, each SJW has unique abilities ("lived experiences") as well as unique weaknesses ("triggers").

-A Pokémon's gender is crucial in determining the abilities it can use, just like an SJW.

-Different types of Pokémon have advantages over other types, while different groups of SJWs use their multiple minority statuses as advantages over each other, white SJWs use their privilege to speak for SJWs of colour, etc.

-Some Pokémon can be two types at the same time, while SJWs can identify as different identities

-Very few Pokémon speak English, while SJWs speak in their own incomprehensible jargon

-SJW's of the same identity all congregate together in one part of the Internet, away from other SJWs who don't understand their lived experiences, while Pokémon of a similar type tend to hang out in segregated areas around the world map of the particular game.

-Some SJW's likely ALREADY IDENTIFY AS POKEMON for all we know.

Would this surprise anyone?

Now, of course Pokémon have to have trainers.

In the Pokémon world, humans train Pokémon, but in the SJW world other SJWs act as trainers for lesser SJWs, sooooo we are going to have to make a small change for this concept to work.

A trainer's SocialJusticemon will receive cuddles and positive energy from their trainer, and in return the SocialJusticemon will retweet and like their posts and selfies.

Let's create a SocialJusticemon trainer that you might encounter. Her tumblr and Twitter handle is Ample_amaanda. She's the leader of the Body Positivity Gym (which is where you encounter Body Positivity-type SocialJusticémon) and because Pokemon gym leaders need a few sentences of characterization, let's have her run a paysite where you can pay to see pictures of her in various stages of undress, should you choose to do so.

Body Positivity-type SocialJusticemon are strong against Skinny Feminist-types and Kink-types, but weak against Black Lives Matter-types for obvious reasons.

Her SocialJusticemon include:

-bigroundhoops27, a Gender Studies student at Ryerson University writing her Ph.D on how the fact that plus size clothing costs more because it costs more material to make is discriminatory and reflects thin privilege

-War-lax, a divorced mother of two young boys with autism who provides useful lessons about the shortcomings of second-wave feminism in the 80s

-Moobertube, a male feminist who sometimes protests the depiction of overweight men as lazy and unintelligent but mostly keeps quiet about this issue due to his male privilege

-benedict-cumberbae, a Gay Male-type SocialJusticemon who is a great listener and a safe male presence

Now of course we have to do a SocialJusticemon BATTLE.

Let's pretend that ample_amaanda is checking her OKCupid profile and has a random encounter. The text crawl would probably look something like this:

-Wild DUDEBRO appeared!

-Go! bigroundhoops27!

-DUDEBRO used COMPLIMENT!

-It's super triggering!

-bigroundhoops27 used CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!

-DUDEBRO is confused! He came off as defensive in his confusion!

-DUDEBRO used MANSPLAIN!

-But, it failed!

-bigroundhoops27 used TEACHABLE MOMENT!

-DUDEBRO fainted!

-bigroundhoops27 gained 53 Exp. Points! bigroundhoops27 grew to lvl 26!

Who knows if any ethical game developers will step up and make this idea into a reality?

 

Comments
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commented 2016-05-12 01:44:54 -0400
Because of SJWs, Jynx’s skin changed from Black to Purple.
commented 2016-05-11 00:06:30 -0400
Keep those dance hits comin’!
commented 2016-05-10 17:57:56 -0400
Demented children in an eternal encounter group therapy session.
commented 2016-05-10 11:47:03 -0400
WTF is the fat pig whaling about???

Lose some weight you foul rube!!!