March 05, 2016

A sales pitch — and SPECIAL OFFER — for Americans threatening to move to Canada

Lauren SouthernRebel Commentator
 

The Canadian immigration website is crashing from mass traffic and search results for “moving to Canada” have gone up by 500%.

Why? Simply because some Americans are extremely angry with how well Donald J. Trump is doing in the Republican primaries -- and they want out of the country before he has a chance to win it.

Surprisingly, Mexico was not their first pick. Instead it was the cold and forever "sorry" land of beavers up north.

Little do they know, Canada is the perfect progressive haven they have always been searching for.

I'd love to invite them to live here with our progressive feminist Prime Minister, free healthcare, marijuana and cultural enrichment.

With just one condition...

 

Comments
You must be logged in to comment. Click here to log in.
commented 2016-03-08 23:15:17 -0500
To the USA People on the run. House for House and just a handshake for a deal, That way no tax to pay. You will have to wait for Trump to get in. That will give me time to try and talk my wife into it. I guess that will give you time to realize how lucky you are.
commented 2016-03-07 09:00:20 -0500
That was extremely well done: funny, but concise and accurate. I remember when I used to be proud of being Canadian … sigh. The countryside is still strikingly beautiful but a sizable percentage of my fellow Canadians (including the current PM) hold views which are not just different than mine, but contrary to them. People are allowed to express opinions that I do not agree with, of course, or opinions that are “offensive” or “threatening” to me, to use those currently fashionable terms. And that’s fine: that’s as it should be. The trouble is, these types of “progressive” views have become so widespread and dominant in our society, that they tend to passively, if not actively, squeeze out and suppress other viewpoints, specifically, opposing viewpoints. Here is where we definitely need something like a First Amendment.

In general, Canada appears to be turning in a direction which, in my opinion, will harm it severely over the next few years. Multiculturalism, (as opposed to immigration combined with assimilation) is not a good thing; on the contrary. America, in contrast, if they choose Mr. Trump as President anyway, would seem to be on a much better path, one that will lead to improved economic prosperity and, in fact, LESS internal racial and religious tension and violence – the opposite of what his critics claim will ensue. But in Canada, we will see (and are seeing) very harsh economic times (spend/increase deficit, spend/increase deficit), decreasing social cohesion (we are not all the same: some cultures just do not mix well with others), and a corresponding increase in crime and violence, the latter due largely to multiculturalism, and the stresses it places on a nation. So yes, America under Trump would be a much better place to be than cold, impoverished, fading (but progressive and multicultural!) Canada.
commented 2016-03-06 23:38:00 -0500
Hah, even in cannabis the USA beats the hell out of us… From the hills of Humboldt county over thru the Rockies, hell they even do a better job at guerella grow in Kentucky than we do here. Grow some plants in Canada and you’ll see what happens; Government henchmen kick your door down, steal your property. A prohibitionist (Bill Blair) is in charge of “legalization”. The ONLY advantage we have is millions of square miles of tundra to evade capture in when they eventually try to herd us into the “camps”.
commented 2016-03-06 17:49:09 -0500
LAUREN
You copied every thing I think and say, that’s all right though,when I say it everybody runs away, when you say it every body runs to their screens!

Good job,even a few angles I couldn’t craft
Climate liar——it’s a new category.—-reality sarcasm
commented 2016-03-06 15:30:33 -0500
Lauren has yet another good idea! ship all the whiny leftie/socialists up he to Canada and the ship all the conservatives down to the USA.

I am packing my bags now … or wait … maybe ship all the whiny leftie/socialists out of Alberta to Eastern Canada and then Alberta will join our southern neighbors! We conservatives might as well take our oil with us since Eastern Canada hates it anyways.
commented 2016-03-06 14:12:27 -0500
As much as I identify as Canadian, given where Canada seems headed under Trudope, I feel I would swap places in a heartbeat! Cher’s mansion looks like a rather lovely place to hang one’s hat…………
commented 2016-03-06 12:06:56 -0500
Yikes … either Judy purposely misunderstood my comments or has trouble making inferences. Let me go on record and say that Lauren is and will continue to be my hero. I guess direct compliments automatically mean the opposite in internet language?

Go Lauren!
Go Judy!
Go the right way!
commented 2016-03-06 10:59:49 -0500
I will gladly trade my Canadian citizenship to any American. I feel nothing but shame for the new direction Canada is heading under the Trudeau. I wonder when he will erect a Bronze statue of himself in the middle of Ottawa with one arm reaching to the sky……..of course with a cell phone in his hand taking a selfie. I wish it was legal to trade citizenship.
commented 2016-03-06 10:32:41 -0500
Add me to the list. I’d gladly trade my Canadian citizenship with any American if Trump is elected president. Wish this were really an option…
commented 2016-03-06 09:21:59 -0500
Sarcasm is a good device to state the obvious. Canada could have been a prosperous country. But the Bank of Canada stopped being what it was under King. And then they started adding highly toxic fluoride to the drinking water to make people docile and stupid under the guise it was good for us. And it shows! How can a pin up boy who has never had a day of need in his life or a sore back from working hard wins a majority government? This is someone who thinks the economy will magically take care of itself. Why does a province of independent people suddenly flip and vote in Stalin’s cousin? Yes, I mean Alberta. How’s that working out? And why are the Liberals still the government in Ontario after all the scandals from Dalton and now this other one? Her name is Wynn but she has loser written all over us. I live in rural Ontario. The control freaks won’t let us build on our land unless it is a certain size. Can’t buy pure milk, cheese or butter from a local far without a swat raid against the farm. The big lie is kill fossile fuels and go green baby. What a truck load of bravo sierra! For anyone who wants to live off grid, the control freaks demand they regulate that too. We are not free. We own nothing and our country, like the rest of the west is circling the drain. But the ruling class will be fine. They have golden parachutes.
commented 2016-03-06 08:23:17 -0500
Now this is satire! And good satire, Lauren!

I have long held that Conservative Canadians should all move to the USA and let the lefties in the US ALL come here…swap countries (of course we want the warm part!)…let the lefties fill up the cold wastes with their pretend ‘love’…

Since both countries are almost evenly divided by right and left, doesn’t it make sense to do the switch and make Canada entirely left, and vice versa?

Lauren, I loved the entire speech! Great job!

Sadly some like Neil always have to drag it down to gender issues and false notions of white male suffering…bleeding heart conservatives ? I weep at the suffering of Trump at the hands of white women…can you say a billion female fans, not to mention several wives? He doesn’t need Lauren to stick up for him, Neil.
commented 2016-03-06 08:13:19 -0500
I’d swap places for sure, with a Prez like Trump this would be heaven .
commented 2016-03-06 07:40:49 -0500
sharpton , Goldberg and raven will get in … The rest of you racist white people are not allowed … Especially the glutenous whale with the wig on.

I just can’t believe there’s still a white woman out there who actually sticks up for white guys. Lauren is brilliant. That just doesn’t exist here in the east anymore.

Lauren for prime minister! Seriously.
commented 2016-03-06 04:06:39 -0500
I especially love when Politicians force me to Love people that hate me.
commented 2016-03-06 03:31:11 -0500
Lauren Southern makes fun of Trudeau because he is white and has nice hair, but many people would think her hair is lovely.
By the way, who is being quoted in the headline?
commented 2016-03-06 01:48:02 -0500
Once the progressives realize what your surname is, they will have no doubt you were sincere.
commented 2016-03-05 22:35:28 -0500
Nathan W commented 29 mins ago
Who are you quoting in the headline? Yourself?

That is a completely untrue assertion.

Are you some kind of candy ass or just an idiot? You talk like that in a bar and you’re bound to get real close to some hairy knuckles.
commented 2016-03-05 22:27:54 -0500
LMAO! Very funny stuff! It may be a bit to subtle for liberals to grasp the irony and sarcasm, but that’s okay. We all know they’re mentally defective.
commented 2016-03-05 22:02:40 -0500
Who are you quoting in the headline? Yourself?

That is a completely untrue assertion.
commented 2016-03-05 21:52:36 -0500
Lauren,
I’m having a tough time distinguishing between your sarcasm and reality. ;/

@climatefallacy
commented 2016-03-05 21:07:36 -0500
The way it’s going here if it wasn’t for family I would swap places in a minute. We are over taxed, our dollar is worth nothing and with the Liberals in power it’s only going to get worse. Arizona would be nice.
commented 2016-03-05 20:15:25 -0500
Hell yes! I’ll swap places with an American, Someplace warm please. Texas would be a good place.
Especially with the likes of Rosie and Whopie and the rest of those losers coming here. I’m surprised that DiCaprio isn’t on that list.
commented 2016-03-05 20:03:45 -0500
BTW I hate cell phone auto correct features😠. Should be called auto error feature!
commented 2016-03-05 20:01:14 -0500
Maybe we should have a website set up. I’m sure Justin would go for it perhaps he can save himself in the next eection and raise his popular vote past the dismal 39%!
I’d be willing to trade places for something warmer, perhaps Texas or similar. Trade a large a rage and a business in Alberta for same. Heck since nachelle rotley got in it worth less and less as the days go by. Let me know Lauren if someone is interested. perhaps after Nov we could swing a deal!😊
commented 2016-03-05 18:37:10 -0500
Donald Craig,

Do you think I/T bureaucrats are paid to do I/T? As opposed to collecting pay for personal welfare days?

Rhetorical question since your comment answers both questions.
commented 2016-03-05 18:25:29 -0500
a government web site crashes? im shocked.
commented 2016-03-05 18:20:42 -0500
I would rather those people move down to Mexico.
commented 2016-03-05 18:03:45 -0500
No to Rosie O’Donnell in Canada – unless she lives next door to Just-In TruDope
commented 2016-03-05 17:55:38 -0500
Saw this comment this week, “I hate to break this to you, but Canada doesn’t have a special visa for American liberal cowards”
commented 2016-03-05 17:23:56 -0500
i’ve always said that my ancestors fucked up when they won the war of 1812.