March 10, 2015

Men's rights group battles for equality with shocking male domestic abuse statistics amidst Ontario media blitz

Emily PrattRebel Correspondent

Emily Pratt is joined by Justin Trottier of the Canadian Association for Equality who hopes to being attention to victims who are often ignored - males.

This comes after the Ontario Liberals introduced a 3-year plan to fight domestic violence and included a media blitz that didn't include male, gay or lesbian victims.

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commented 2015-03-17 13:14:48 -0400
Joan about that issue of “person” . It is a legal term from the lex Romani…the Roman Law. “Persona” means “mask” and is a reference to the ancient practice of actors holding a mask in front of their face when they played a role. There was no inference that women were sub human.

I think it is high time men’s rights advocates got a chance to be heard without being shouted down…or charged with “hate speech” like I spent a five year battle in court against Status of Women Canada fighting.
commented 2015-03-15 13:28:10 -0400
Joan Abernethy, regarding ‘Boys are not being flown out of Canada to be genitally mutilated. That would be girls. But shhhhh, right Kevin?’, you are 100% correct, boys don’t get flow out of Canada to be genially mutilated, because they do it right here, it’s called circumcision. It’s done when their infants without anesthetic, the foreskin is then used to make face cream for women.
commented 2015-03-13 00:57:21 -0400
Joan Abernathy. Your attitude is validation for everything said in this story and this billboard. As a male survivor of domestic abuse, my abuser isolated me, used emotional blackmail with fake suicide attempts, and when all of that no longer worked, she smashed my face with a club, and stabbed me. Afterwards there were no charges, and I asked for help I was referred to anger management courses for abusive males. After all of that I had to pay support to the woman that assaulted me. All domestic violence is wrong, but male victims are ridiculed, dehumanized, and shamed. Millions on women’s shelters, and police and court direction based on the deeply flawed Duluth model that assumes only men can be the aggressor. Because patriarchy. To hell with you you narrow minded evil apologist.
commented 2015-03-12 20:19:11 -0400
To the deniers of male victims of female perpetrated violence, I offer several sources of professional literature, some in Canada, and some in the U.S.

Check out Dr. Dutton’s publications.

Also check out Dr. Denise Hines here

Also you have this study which is striking:

And there are tons of links in each that lead to more and more studies.

I could do this for days. I could even shoot holes in rape stats, but hey, one project at a time.
commented 2015-03-11 17:33:32 -0400
Kevin, so you’d prefer to make gains with lies?

What in your broad view is narrow-minded about mine? The fact I have the nerve to criticize? Or merely the nerve to speak?

Were you laughed at in court? Because if so, you should be able to better understand what women have experienced for millenia and still do.

Go read my first post, if you aren’t too busy with your bias.

Especially boys (and girls) who are victims of violent domestic abuse by (men and) women but also men who are abused by a spouse, male or female, and women who are abused by a (male or) female spouse need support. No question. Never has been.

But you cannot convince me to condemn women as equally lethal in domestic violence to men especially based on biased evidence like Trottier trotted out. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Boys are not being flown out of Canada to be genitally mutilated. That would be girls. But shhhhh, right Kevin?

Listen, more shelters are not the way to go. Nor is insisting police haul off your wife while you get the brutality on video and then lock her up in jail so you can get pay back and use politics to manipulate police to abuse your spouse for you without ever lifting a finger.

We need federal guaranteed income law so victims, male, female, youth, can access emergency funding with which to purchase safe emergency housing during domestic crises.

I don’t want my tax dollars funding a men’s power movement. That would be an abuse.

If men need to manipulate numbers to try to convince society and law-makers women should not get custody, own any assets, or be protected from the brutality of superior force most men have over women, then the motive for your case is suspect. Like I said.

If you think the court erred in your case, appeal. If you can’t afford a lawyer to appeal, do it yourself. There are lots of tools online. And if your spouse is violently abusing you, get out and go to a homeless shelter. They’ll take you in if you can’t afford a hotel room.
commented 2015-03-11 16:57:08 -0400
Wow. Joan. You make the case for this video perfectly. This is why men don’t and can’t report they are being abused. If they do they are laughed out of the courtroom by narrow minded people like you.
commented 2015-03-11 13:01:25 -0400
Saudi Arabia and the Muslim Brotherhood have invested a lot of money in propaganda and lawfare in Canada.

A nurse who works in Ontario Corrections told me that shortly after 9/11, corrections administration began emptying ranges of male gangsters and filling them with women accused of minor or bogus crimes like provoking her ex to break his restraining order.

Shariah creep would love our culture to believe women are just as violent, and as lethally violent, to men as men are to women. (And if they can get us to believe that, to convince us women are, in fact, responsible for provoking violence in men.).

They’d like us to enact law to disinherit women and to make law inequities such as a woman’s testimony is only worth half a man’s.

To change cultural attitudes to support their lawfare reforms, they must demonize women.

Don’t be fooled that no such reformers work at Stats Can.

Judy’s point is bang on. If the survey Trottier relies on to make his claim was, in fact, designed and conducted by Stats Can, its intent is very suspicious. The design is so sloppy that any first year uni stats student could spot the invalidity.

Stats Can hires PhD- qualified statisticians too smart to accidentally make such an error.
commented 2015-03-11 12:27:29 -0400
True North – even with names, unless you contact them and get their first-hand testimony, it is still hearsay, isn’t it? Or don’t you know your law as well as you pretend to?

Court documents of what? Of the allegations made by this therebel piece, that incidents of female on male violence are equal? You’re right. That isn’t documented.

Or are you saying that if police refuse to investigate crime and the Crown refuses to prosecute it that it therefore never happened?

Yeah, right. Nice try. If no human is present when a tree falls in the forest, does it still make a sound? Like there are no other creatures but the dominant ones to bear witness.

Don’t try to bully me.
commented 2015-03-11 10:15:26 -0400
Joan. Proof please. Links. Court documents. Newspaper publications. Or it is all hear-say or fiction.
commented 2015-03-11 09:55:17 -0400
Ken, it is not all one-sided. There are abuses on both sides. I know two women who won in family court after their wealthy professional husbands were convicted of sexually abusing their children. These hard-done-by fathers, who loudy decried family court bias, had wealth to buy from among their business connections a wholesale campaign of harrassment against their families. They bribed and/or hacked Bell, gas, hydro to bill their ex-wives thousands they couldn’t pay, paid to set their ex-wives up to be fired at work, even paid suitors to move in to comfort the women, help with the clearly erroneous high bills, totally screw up what was left of their finances until their ex-wives lose everything, and end up homeless so the children have no home when the men get out of jail and, with his wealth, he applies for custody and wins. He’s paid his debt, right? Attended pedophile classes in jail. He doesn’t pose a risk to those children anymore, right? Or so police and the courts allege. All the while, police and the courts treat the ex-wives with derision, as if they are crazy, and the Crown turns its back to this very common variation of justice abuse.

Official records may show courts award assets and custody more often to women but no one records the abuses men use after the courts do so to destroy their wives and families.
commented 2015-03-11 09:36:48 -0400
This initiative will go no where fast and will soon be forgotten by the same politicians who champion it now. After over 30 years of feminist family law, males in this country are treated no different than the Jews were in Nazi Germany in their law courts in the 1930’s. No political party will support the cause of real equality for men in the courts and most male lawyers have been brainwashed during their university education and are pro feminist when it comes to administering the law. They never support male equality in family law. Churches that were so quick to embrace pro homosexual, pro feminist stands have remained completely silent on the matter of males being abused and denied justice in the courts. No one speaks for the men of this country. To make matters worse, the Liberals under Allen Rock brought in the most anti male and draconian divorce laws in our countries history and the Conservatives have ignored this injustice and have refused to amend these horrible divorce laws that have placed Canadian men in a position of being subhuman before the courts. Don’t believe what I’m posting? Just talk to any of your male friends or relatives that are going through the divorce courts at this moment and see how satisfied they are with the laws and the “justice” that they are being given. I’m sure you won’t hear a lot of positive, satisfied responses.
commented 2015-03-11 07:42:52 -0400
While I have great sympathy for all victims of abuse, the basis of this study is a question from Statistics Canada that was not presented correctly to assume the conclusion here. The question was as far as I can see “have you been involved in a domestic violence situation….” this question found 6 men and 6.5 women had been involved in domestic violence. The only conclusion I draw from this, knowing the situation for women from much experience, is that .5 of the men did not admit to violently abusing the women and the other 6 did admit to their violent tendency toward their ‘spouses’.

You need to ask the right questions and this was not the right question for men to claim to be half of abuse victims. The question needs to be “have you been the VICTIM of domestic violence…” This is not what was asked, according to this story, so I cannot draw the conclusion that half of domestic violence victims are men.

That is not to say that I do not believe that there are male victims of violent women. But Statistics Canada should know how to ask questions after all their experience and support from the public purse.

There are laws that make it illegal to assault anyone. Men and women have access to the means to use these laws for protection and I pray they will use them to the full.

Finally, my major concern is the issue of putting women into cloth ‘cages’, particularly in the Muslim community. The left is so concerned about ‘religious’ expression for Muslim men (not so much Christians’ religious expression :( ) that they are willing to keep women of that culture covered up to hide the bruises and injuries that have been inflicted on them. How coincidental that the full burkha can even cover up blackened eyes and acid eaten skin, missing noses and ears! Yet the left finds this ‘religious’ garb should be a “right” for those women. For all those left leaning people; please spend a week with your mouth and nose covered by any sort of mask and tell me if you would EVER choose such a garment for ANY religion or culture. It is known that women who wear such garb are often victims of lung disease, TB etc. because of the nature of the garb. What god would design people to breathe air and then smother them daily with damp, stifling cloth? We need to look beneath the covers and set these people free…not protect their abusers. “Culture is no excuse for abuse”…Honor Diaries.
commented 2015-03-11 00:45:12 -0400
Domestic abuse is a nightmare. Makes me think that lawyer had a good idea a year or so ago. She suggested marriages be contracted five years at a time then re-negotiated after that and renewed, or not, for another five years. Sometimes it is better for all to separate so long as financial equity and the best interests of kids are observed. Our culture creates this love-is-forever and marriage-is-forever expectation that may not be realistic. Sometimes people just don’t get along. People change. People grow apart. No reason to bash your spouse’s head in or steal his dough or make the kids hate the ex.

But when it comes to child abuse, like Theo Fleury experienced, zero tolerance. And in domestic situations, if you know your spouse is abusing the kids, gather evidence, take it to a lawyer and involve police, if the lawyer advises. Protect your kids. No.1 priority.
commented 2015-03-11 00:32:26 -0400
Its about time some organization recognize this issue. Usually the abuse is psychological, which is just as valid.
commented 2015-03-10 21:55:31 -0400
One of my close male friends is abused by his ex gf. They have kids but still live together. She has a new boyfriend she met on a dating site. She spends her CCTB on this guy, has brought him home in front of her kids and the father. She has said she hates her maternal responsibilities and wishes she could go back to her old life. She has punched my friend in the face. She insults him everyday, yells at him and has even punched him in the face. He’s absolutely broken and he’ll never leave until she takes off for good.
commented 2015-03-10 19:54:42 -0400
Excellent segment. Perhaps everyone will recall Hockey Star Theo Flury? He did not even report his own abuse for fear of what it may do to his sport career. Plus it appears that he self-medicated to deal with the pain, guilt and confusion. Are we to ignore this kind of abuse just because he was a boy? And are we to believe it can’t happen between women and men?
Come on Wynne – “man-up” and stop this hateful campaign at once.
commented 2015-03-10 19:53:44 -0400
I saw this issue debated on the National Post and was disappointed to see a number of posters either denying that female on male domestic abuse is that common or even important, or that a “real” man could ever be abused. The fact is that statistically it is very common and that it causes genuine pain. Not always physical but very often mental. Some say that it can’t be a big deal because it is so rarely reported to police, compared to male on female abuse. The reason for that is obvious of course. It’s hard enough for women to overcome the “shame” of reporting it, so what man wants to admit to anyone that he’s being abused when he knows that many will consider him to be less than a real man? And what do people mean when they say that a “real” man wouldn’t allow it? Do they mean that he would defend himself by physically dealing with the abusive woman? We all now how that would turn out. The police will get involved and they will only arrest one person, and it won’t be the woman, because they haven’t bought in to the idea of men being abused yet either. So a man who is being abused by a woman is basically between a rock and a hard place which is why most of them just leave.
commented 2015-03-10 19:48:43 -0400
We want to be careful with this one. Women in Canada have only been persons under our law for not yet 100 years and in many cultures in the world, still are not.

Before the famous Alberta women moved on this issue, Canada was, more or less, a domestic honour culture. Women were property, like cattle, to be bought and sold. We did as we were told or else. Our lives were worth less. We were expendable.

There are many groups in Canada that would like to restore gender apartheid in our law and how best to do that but by demonizing women?

“The rape wasn’t my fault; I raped in self defence!” Sure, that’s hyperbolic … now … but you get my point. “I took her teeth out because she threatened to leave”, etc. Violence is the woman’s fault. Always has been. Right?

Having made that point, there is no denying that males, especially boys, are frequent victims of female domestic violence and, including men, of frequent psychological and financial domestic abuse by women.

I don’t buy the idea that female on male domestic violence is equal to male on female domestic violence. Sure, women hit. But nowhere near as lethally as men do. We don’t want to lose sight of that fact. The data Justin relied on to conclude the incidence of male violence is equal to the incidence of female violence were collected from a highly subjective self-report survey not from an objective hospital record of injuries sustained.

I agree there should be more focus on and help for victims of domestic abuse in LGBTQ relationships.

As to more shelters, it is the wrong way to go. The ones we have are filled with working girls who, admittedly, are often victims of “domestic” abuse but whose pimps use the tax paid-for shelters to save on housing costs to make more profit. Non-working-girl victims of domestic abuse are put at risk by crime misuse of shelters that prop open fire doors with bricks to let johns in and out to avoid detection by front-entrance video surveillance.

Pass guaranteed income law that allows victims of abuse to access funding to purchase private secure housing during domestic abuse crises. Safe. Dignified. Cheaper.

I should point out that the clip of Wynne’s campaign about violence against women is not solely or even mostly about domestic abuse. It is about workplace violence and casual sexual harrassment, exploitation and predation in public.

That clip of the fellow putting rohypnol in the woman’s drink could happen not only at a bar but at a corporate holiday party or a Pride parade. It’s no joke.

I wonder if Justin Trottier has any data on the incidence of female on male sexual predation in society generally, in the workplace, or by means of covert rohypnol intoxication.

Wynne’s campaign does not focus on male predators in exclusion to female domestic abusers either. In fact, it focuses, in the clip shown here, on bystanders.

“Thanks for doing nothing to help, nothing to stop the abuse. Thanks for being a silent collaborator. Thanks for saying nothing, for keeping quiet”.

I support Wynne’s campaign to oppose sexual violence and sexual harrassment in the workplace. It was, in fact, initiated by my MPP, PC vice-chair of the committee, Laurie Scott. Conservatives support this campaign, if not the partisan composition of its committee.

I also support more resources for boys and men and for members of the LGBTQ community who are in abusive domestic relationships.

The two – the premier’s campaign against sexual violence and Trottier’s campaign for more resources for male and LGBTQ domestic-abuse victims – are neither concerned with the same issues or mutually exclusive. They are both worthy initiatives.