May 07, 2015

Yoga for conservatives

Mitch WolfeRebel Blogger
 

I am thinking of starting a new Facebook Group, for stressed-out conservatives who have seen our hopes of a conservative resurgence in Ontario provincial politics dashed regularly by unpopular and politically tone-deaf provincial conservative leaders. 

On the federal level, now we are faced with the popularity of one of the most content-free, superficial and dangerous federal Liberal leaders in recent memory.  The Boy Wonder Justin with the great hair and economic/environmental policies that may destroy our stable Canadian economy.

Much as Trudeau Sr. did in the ‘70s and early ‘80s.

If Trudeau the pretty boy puppet is elected, will he carbon tax us Canadians to financial death? Will he stop the oil pipelines flowing oil east to west and west to east and kneecap our oil and gas industry - the economic engine of our Canadian economy?

One day, Trudeau is pro-Israel, the next day he is pro Palestinian while he parties at mosques connected to Islamic terrorists, bent on destroying Israel, killing Christians and wreaking havoc on the west.

Once elected as PM, will he throw Israel and Jews under the bus as he courts Canadians who want to impose Sharia law in our communities in violation of our Canadian rights, freedoms and values.

As conservatives, how do we combat this New Age Adonis?

Well, instead of pulling our graying hair out, we should fight fire with fire.

We should breathe new life into our conservative mission, by stopping, and literally breathing in and out - yoga style.

Close our eyes and dream of a Canada, free of hypocritical, opportunistic Trudeauites and loony leftists.

We should inhale through our noses and let our breath circulate through our joints, muscles and up and down our chests and backs.

After a series of preliminary poses, (Sun Salutations, Downward Facing Dog, cat and cow poses) which loosen our limbs and open our hearts to new thoughts and ideas, we should then engage in my favorite pose: Warrior II, known as Virabhadrasna II.

After several years, I am still a novice yogi, but my yoga instructor, the strong and ethereal Iris, is the real deal.

  • 1. Open the arms so they are parallel to the floor. When the right leg is forward, bring the right arm in front of you and the left arm behind.
  • 2. Open the left hip toward the back of your mat.
  • 3. Keep the right knee bent and the right thigh parallel to the floor.
  • 4. Draw the belly in slightly.
  • 5. Find the shoulders directly over the hips.
  • 6. Reach out through both finger tips.
  • 7. The gaze is forward over the right hand.
  • 8. Engage the triceps to support the arms, and the quadriceps to support the legs.

Repeat on the left side.

Make sure the right knee stays tracked over the middle toe of the right foot. Don’t allow the knee to drift over to the left.

Hold the pose for ten breaths.

This yoga pose strengthen the legs and arms, opens the chest and shoulders, tones the abdomen and makes us fighting Conservatives - strong enough to take on the invading hordes of Trudeau lefty lightweights who want to weaken our national resolve and take us back to the disastrous tax and spend/stagflation days of Trudeau Sr.

Namaste, you left-leaning Liberal/lefty bastards!

 

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