September 02, 2016

10 reasons to move to the suburbs

Gavin McInnesArchive

When I was a young punk, "suburbia" was synonymous with stifling conformity. As soon as I could, I moved to the big city so I could party. But that was years ago. Now I'm married with three kids. I finally moved to the suburbs and wish I'd done it a long time ago.


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commented 2016-09-05 22:49:37 -0400
I’m sure that if Gavin ever turned sissy, he’d be plugging his Top Ten “why it’s so great getting it up the ass” tips with the enthusiasm he brings to how f-king great he thinks everything he does is.
commented 2016-09-03 12:57:32 -0400
The rat race is a lot more abusive, oppressive and dangerous than it used to be, I go there for a little contrast once in a while but could never live in the thick of it again. My conundrum now is that I didn’t move out far enough. What was once, ‘shoot whiskey bottles off the fence’ secluded is becoming more populated than I bargained for.
Glad you’re enjoying the burbs Gavin, it’s the next logical step when you have kids, but the real ‘serenity’ comes when they leave and you move out to the country.
commented 2016-09-03 11:21:10 -0400
BILL ELDER; “sirens every half hour”? How about constantly.
No question country living is paradise and we need to keep it that way. However having lived the majority of my life on a 360 acre ranch in the BC interior I recently checked out acreage again and was totally floored at how much control regional districts have inflicted on land owners by bringing in restrictive regulations dictating what you can and cannot do on your own land. The NWO is slowly but surely taking away everyone’s rights even in the country.
commented 2016-09-03 11:13:27 -0400
The one and most important reason to move to at least the suburbs and preferably the urban areas is that NWO governments are all trying to force civilians off land and into cities. Exactly what China has done. When they have the people all in one confined area they are much easier to control, subjugate and essentially, imprison.
commented 2016-09-03 11:06:31 -0400
I grew up in the the city (Calgary) but I would never be an urbo-weenie again. IF I was forced to live in a big city, I guess Calgary would be a good choice. Lethbridge and Medicine Hat would be better but they are quite a bit smaller- therefore better. “Green acres is the place for me…”
commented 2016-09-03 09:26:59 -0400
I like the burbs for all those good reasons, city is good for in and out, Gavin’s sketch is always interesting, EH! … another thing in the burbs you can park your car without costing you a fortune.
commented 2016-09-03 08:56:00 -0400
Calgary mayor wants people to move to the chicken coops down town ride a bike and be happy. How is that even possible for a great amount of us WHO DONT LIKE THE CROWDS, NOT A BLADE OF GRASS TO WALK ON, NOISE ALL DAY AND NIGHT, NOT TO MENTION THE RISING CRIME RATES AND REALLY SCUZZY PEOPLE WHO HANG OUT DOWN TOWN AT NIGHT. I would never allow my wife or daughter to go down town alone late at night.IT IS NOT SAFE. All those who tell us how great it is to live down town or in high density developments DONT LIVE THERE THEMSELVES. Rural areas are by far the best bravo is right. But the burbs are far better than high density crap housing.
commented 2016-09-03 02:39:15 -0400
Bravo Zulu commented – “If I can see another house from any position on my land I am too close to civilization.”

Can you shoot the empty Whisky bottles off the fence rail along your property line without worry of a complaint or safety concern? If so it’s too crowded.
commented 2016-09-03 00:02:20 -0400
Jay – you stay in the burbs – those folks in the country are usually armed and pretty decent shots.
commented 2016-09-02 23:23:55 -0400
If you feel more comfortable in the suburbs, you should probably move there.
commented 2016-09-02 23:09:46 -0400
What they said, Gavin.
If you like the New York burbs, you’ll love small-town semi-rural. The great outdoors at your doorstep. Fresh air. No traffic, even at rush hour. Friendly people around a back-yard fire havin’ some beers.
The kids can wander off all day and no one worries – because they always come back. Sorta like when we were kids, slummin’ around all day. I never got kidnapped, let alone molested, and I didn’t know of any other friends who’d had that happen either.
Kids climbin’ trees, eatin’ berries, fishin’. Swimming in trunks or tighty whites down at the pond. Where biking for miles is a thing to enjoy. Staring up at the night sky realizing there are actually stars up there. Even us adults can enjoy those simple indulgences.
But just like you, the late teens/early twenties means “downtown was the place to be”.
commented 2016-09-02 23:07:37 -0400
If I can see another house from any position on my land I am too close to civilization.
commented 2016-09-02 21:12:25 -0400
@bill Elder I’m with you on that. Statistically PEI has the highest population density in Canada but that is because vast areas of forest get thrown into the stats. I live in an area where houses are 200 yards apart and it is the closest thing to “the Shire” that you will find anywhere on the planet. I have lived in Montreal so I know what it is like to be the Jew in Germany. I have lived in Toronto and Hamilton and frankly if I won a trip to either destination as a door prise I wouldn’t go. I grew up in Halifax and it was only slightly less conflicted that Belfast Ireland in the same era.

Gavin if you think the burbs are nice try moving to a place where your kids will be getting on a yellow bus for school in the morning and where there are spontaneous fund raisers of caleigh and Stompin Tom music for every neighbour who’s household is touched by cancer and where you will never be stuck in a broken down car for very long wether you have roadside assistance or not.
commented 2016-09-02 20:17:46 -0400
@bill Elder
I was thinking the same thing.
commented 2016-09-02 19:16:14 -0400
Even the suburbs are too close to the human refuse dumps cities have become – get thy ass back to the country buddy – trees, neighbors are civil because they live +1000yrs away, no hoodies, selfies, SJWs, wonks, donks or libtard honkies – sippin a fine malt scotch with a robust hand-wrapped cigar on your patio watching the sun set over the tree tops on your property line beats huddling indoors in a no-smoking high rise with a quart of malt liquor after dark hearing sirens every 1/2 hr.