October 16, 2015

10 things Canadians need to know about Americans

Gavin McInnesArchive

Americans are very different from Canadians.

I'm a Canadian who has lived here for 15 years and here are 10 things I've noticed about them:

1- They don't think soakers are a big deal

2- They suck at roasting marshmallows

3- The portions are insane

4- They haven't been anywhere

5- They hate French people

6- They think British people are smart

7- They know every actor's name

8- They love The Godfather

9-They say "uh-huh" instead of "you're welcome"

10- They are all patriotic  

Oh, and here's a bonus one I forgot to mention:

They use paper towels instead of cloths. If someone spills a glass of water, they'll break off a big Bounty square, mop up the spill, and then throw that paper towel in the garbage. It's not like they're free here, either. A six pack is about $13 which is about the same as it is in Canada. I don't get it.  

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commented 2015-10-22 14:17:25 -0400
Number 9: I had a friend from another country mention something similar to me. After talking it over, we came to the conclusion that Americans say “uh-huh” or something similar not because they expected you to say “thank you”, but because Americans just don’t think doing someone a favor is a big deal. In other words, from the person’s point of view who did the favor, he did nothing worthy of thanks; its just expected that anyone in that position would do the same thing.

My friend pointed out that in many other countries, people tend to keep track of favors and insults like a running tally. Each one is forgiven or accounted for through the appropriate response. In the U.S., neither one is of particular importance unless it cost some significant time or money. So people tend to be more forgiving of insults and less concerned with favors.
commented 2015-10-18 10:37:59 -0400
I found this hilarious. Many of your statements and observations were spot-on. Some were a bit silly though. For those who need this: A Soaker – What you call your foot after stepping in a deep puddle or lake or river. If your foot gets completely engulfed in water you have yourself a soaker.
commented 2015-10-17 15:09:13 -0400
I agree with your observations about portions and paper towels, but beyond that, these are some backwater cliches. Where have you been living, rural Texas? And what’s a “soaker”?
commented 2015-10-17 14:40:42 -0400
What is this, Pick on the Yanks Day.
commented 2015-10-17 13:14:09 -0400
There a probably more differences in one end of Canada than the other than some parts of Canada than the US. These countries should have been split north and south down the Mississippi. Ask a lot of western Americans they will tell you the same thing
commented 2015-10-16 23:59:19 -0400
I spend a lot of time in the US. They are pretty ignorant when it comes to Canada but they sure love us… Like a little cousin.
commented 2015-10-16 18:44:20 -0400
Gavin, just wondering, eh? Does all or any of that hold true in Vermont? Or Massachusetts? Or Honolulu?
commented 2015-10-16 15:21:23 -0400
God Bless America. Eh.
Canada’s best friend in the world – well pre-Obama anyway…
commented 2015-10-16 11:05:37 -0400
Gavin – Can we can address that we can mail a Canucks toque too? Tired of looking at the flipping Habs rag on your head….
commented 2015-10-16 11:01:04 -0400
And Americans know nothing about Canada because they don’t give a shit.

If Americans were interested in Canada, they could answer stupid fuck questions that shitbag media like cBC likes to throw at them (and then call it comedy).

And this is how fucking stupid and arrogant Canadians are. Americans don’t care about you Canada, so shut the fuck up and get over it.