May 01, 2015

A poetic prescription for Justin Trudeau's success

Mindy AlterRebel Blogger

The following was inspired by broadcaster and author Steve Paikin, who told a gathering of ladies at a lunch ‘n learn at Toronto synagogue last week—my own mother among them—that he thinks Justin Trudeau is “a rock star.” 

And, of course, it was also inspired by Rudyard Kipling, who wrote the poem, If, that memorable if a tad preachy bit of Victorian uplift, and to whom I extend the requisite apologies due him because of this—a tongue-in-cheek  If telling Justin Trudeau how victory can be his come election time:


If you can keep your head when all around you

Are thinking that you’re wet behind the ears.

If you pretend that nothing can confound you

And bask in adulation, claps and cheers.

If you can schmooze and not get tired of schmoozing,

And shake their hands, and not stress all their germs,

And, being leftist, not speak any logic,

But shake ‘em to the core—and on your terms.


If you can dream of leading like your father

(Although you got Mom’s looks and her brains, too).

If you can visit mosques sans any bother

Because you know exactly whom to woo.

If you can trot out Sophie and your children

(Because a pretty family’s a huge plus).

If you can summon up the wiles and will then—

And take them both on your election bus.


If you can make ‘em swallow your slick message,

That you, though rich, are for the “middle class”;

If you don’t look at polls and what they presage—

That you’re about to fall down on your ass.

If you can make ‘em think that you’re a rock star:

A Bieber, no, a Bublé, no, a Drake.

If you can make ‘em swoon like B. Obama,

So they won’t notice what is false and fake.


If you can keep the media behind you—

It won’t be hard, since they have got your back,

And since they cannot stand that Stephen Harper,

An eee-ville Tory whom they’d like to sack.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With memorable sound bites, tweets and spin,

Yours is the land and all the power that’s in it,

And, what is more, son, you could even win!


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commented 2015-05-04 20:32:04 -0400
What a pleasure to hear from this respected and prolific “letters to the editor” writer and commentator!
commented 2015-05-02 13:17:39 -0400
I like my childhood poem better…

If I could wish to be a fish for just a day or two,
And flip and flash, and dart and splash,
With nothing else to do,
And never anyone to say,
‘Are you quite sure you washed today?’
I’d like that wouldn’t you?

This clearly means cherubic Justin’s in big trouble. Conservatives in a landslide.
commented 2015-05-01 14:58:15 -0400
Wow, that was an excellent and witty modern remaking and take down of the Liberal hair apparent, The Justin. Unlike Justin Bieber, Trudeau’s non-believers vastly outnumber his supporters. I predict the Justin will lose more support as he is forced to become specific with his policies and defend them with less than a full deck.
commented 2015-05-01 13:47:17 -0400
Steve “Sunshine List” Paikin knows where his bread is buttered. Watch out for the hard-core push for Justin in the Jewish community, with the shameful narrative of: Stephen Harper has been too close to Israel for our own good. Brava, Mindy, this was brilliant.