What can be said about Purim that can't be said about every other Jewish holiday? You've got the same basic three-act structure: Bumbling supervillain tries to destroy Team J, fails miserably, and a big party is thrown to gloat over the victory.
There are the weird parallels to other holidays and the debate over who copied who first- costumes from Halloween? Sugary treats from Easter? Public drunkenness from St. Patrick's Day?
Well, how about the fact that Haman, the mustache-twirling Dick Dastardly in the Purim story, is one of Judaism's top boogeymen, so much so that he's the go-to historical parallel when someone actually goes beyond the usual complaining and actually starts making good on their threats? Haman was Persian, which would, oddly enough, make him one of the original Aryans as well.
And speaking of “Aryans,” I’d like to speak to them directly as a member of their, um, “target audience” and register a complaint about the terrible product they’ve been putting out lately.
Well, it’s always been terrible, don’t get me wrong, but now it’s also lousy in terms of quality.
It’s just not doing anything for me, guys, (or should I say goys?). You’re not scary anymore. You’re like the Freddy Kruegers of nationalists. You used to be threatening, but lately you spend more time making ridiculous puns than anything else. "Neo-Cohens”? "Zionistical"? "Yidcum"? What does that even mean? Do I have to press 1 for English here?
I can feel the passive-aggression and neediness wafting off my laptop screen. It's the way you think spelling "Jews" with a lowercase "j" is clever. It's the way you cling to the tired mantra of Jewish power and influence, trying to convince other conservatives that having too much money is something they should get upset about.
It's the way you expect people to believe that the same guys worried about a white genocide really, truly care about the well-being of the Palestinians. It's the way you don't even try to throw some of your shade at those foreign powers who actually control America, like China.
Nationalism is flourishing, there are plenty of online forums where you can thrive in your precious anonymity, and we've been in an period of economic uncertainty for nearly a decade now.
And yet, Donald Trump, the supreme arbiter of who is and isn't a loser, is disavowing the KKK while absolutely winning at AIPAC. When that happens, I think we've passed the point where you can credibly blame the Rothschilds for your failures.
I suppose it's only typical for blinkered "race-realists" to call themselves students of history without bothering to familiarize themselves with the thousands of years that preceded the Constitution and the Founding Fathers, to say nothing of their precious Europe itself. You might try starting with the Purim story itself, apocryphal though it may be. Back then, entire peoples could be wiped out with the stroke of a pen.
Doing so might temper your obnoxious belief that you are, somehow, part of the "Chosen People...."