June 08, 2015

Discrimination! Edmonton pools ban fake "mermaid tails"

Rebel Staff

Public swimming pools in Edmonton have banned the use of fake mermaid tails as unsafe.

Jason & Matt of TheRebel.media (awkwardly) hit the streets to ask Canadians whether or not this ban is stupid, unfair -- or even "racist" towards mythical creatures.

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commented 2015-06-09 05:00:13 -0400
Hahaha! I love it! Seriously though, the ban is classic CYA, “Cover Your Ass”, strategy. Public pools are operated by the City, and the City is just afraid of law suits brought against it by an imaginary group of idiots who might accidentally drown on public property whilst engaging in mer-person fantasies. It’s the City’s equivalent to the absurd warnings on toasters that read: “Do not use toaster in the bathtub or shower”.
What’s next, though? Bans on inflatable water wings and inner tubes? Oh no, water wings could be over-inflated, and cut off blood circulation to the arms of a toddler!
commented 2015-06-08 17:47:52 -0400
interesting to see how matt will pursue other projects
commented 2015-06-08 17:06:54 -0400
Relax everyone. Only the fake tails are banned. Real tails are apparently okay.
Now Matt’s tale is told.
commented 2015-06-08 14:49:10 -0400
From what you just illustrated their are two more reasons to ban them :
1) You can not safely move from the locker room to the pool
2) You would have significant difficulty exiting the pool
commented 2015-06-08 14:43:38 -0400
Glenn Craig – Is Matt not a merman? Or is he transgendered? So hard to tell these days. Maybe he is just a merman in drag.

Great skit. Very entertaining.
commented 2015-06-08 14:42:57 -0400
you could conceivably drown with that thing around your legs.
Maybe they should institute mandatory swim tests and certification to use mer-orthotics in the pool
commented 2015-06-08 14:01:54 -0400
Next they will be banning Unicorns!
commented 2015-06-08 13:56:59 -0400
Oh, Lord… this even made the “news”???
commented 2015-06-08 13:23:17 -0400
The very word “merMAID” is highly sexist…they are “merPERSONS”…………:-)

And banning them from pools is speciesist (would you believe it?spell check did not eve balk at that!!!….:) and ichthysophobic (damn spell check needs to be politically corrected on THAT one)……:-)

People who have chosen to so identify need support until they get tattooed from the waist down with scales and undergo cod liver oil therapy……..:-)