Rarely are Karma’s bolts so keenly felt as when, in bullfighting, the churlish matador gets absolutely gored by the tortured beast. It’s a crucial lesson of Nature: if you meddle with Brute Strength, be prepared to accept the consequences.
But infinitely more satisfying -- and this I have not yet seen -- would be a noble bull that does not deign to answer flashy entreaties that lead only to pain and humiliation. For this bull, with Buddha-like forbearance, strips both his torturer and onlookers of their purpose and pleasure.
Amazon, Volvo, Crapple, and other architects of corporate dystopia should keep this dynamic in mind when scheming to kick to the curb America’s 3.5 million truck drivers with its newest shiny cape: driverless vehicle AI that allows big-money barons to hire both Alejandra and Margarita to sweep their coastal mansions.
Democrat presidential candidate Andrew Yang hinted that the driver to droid shakeup could spawn “mass riots” in an interview with podcaster and professional fence-sitter Joe Rogan.
“What happened to the manufacturing workers will happen to the truckers but at an even more dramatic scale,” Yang said. “So you’ll see truckers going home and drinking themselves to death or doing drugs and overdosing or killing themselves. And then eventually there will be an outbreak of violence because some truckers will say ‘instead of killing myself how about I bust up a robot truck?’”
Self-harm in a two-thirds white and male industry likely won’t mean too many sleepless nights for elites. Coastal plutocrats and their bugman sycophants are unphased by that same demographic making up four-fifths of U.S. suicides. But something tells me their callous apathy might fade a bit when channelers of Andrew Breitbart’s righteous indignation take Extrajudicial Measures against their lavish toys. You think you’ve seen social justice? Ha!
Still, it won’t be a cakewalk. In fact, I’d suggest not walking at all in this I, Robot-esque clash, unless you want to end up like Elaine Herzberg, who was mown down by a self-driving Uber that detected her six whole seconds before impact.
In a November interview, Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi revealed that unemployment and vicious death aren’t the only things we get to look forward to in a driverless utopia.
When asked how transportation in cities would look in ten years, Khosrowshahi said “hopefully, you won’t own a car. You will essentially come to us, and we’ll give you the choice whether you want to take regular Uber or you want to pool with someone.”
No, Big Tech parasites also plan on robbing us of our dignity, the most unfortunate body bag left in the wake of their rapacious quest for money and power.
The industrial age allowed man to obtain the speed of cheetah. There is a certain magic and majesty to bending physics to our will, all with the press of a pedal or the spin of a wheel. Secret abilities at vast quantities become unlocked. Velocity. Acceleration. Playing Bumper Cars With Tedious Boomer. Forces you can control after enduring ten hours of low-T busybody middle manager.
The grasping Khosrowshahi demons of the world cannot have your veins coursing with this primal power, lest it inspire insurrection against their ever-tightening chokehold. Never! Their poison is the lulling, seductive, cherry-flavored one: a gradual forfeiture of freedoms cloaked as “make your life easier with our lit AF robocar.” Just remember that if you violate Uber’s bans on “hate speech,” carrying a firearm, or flirting -- yes, flirting -- while using their service, no car for you. And perhaps in ten years, nowhere else to turn.
So maybe we should tarry just a tad before handing over the keys to the kingdom, even if it means transgressing against that sacrosanct principle of the Free Market, the altar of which I hear you must kiss at least thrice daily if you hope to maintain any non-progressive D.C. think tank gig.
Libertarian and neocon fruitcakes sling banal platitudes at skeptics who see the market as a tool -- and often a very valuable one! -- but not an end. (Hint: the end should be happiness, marriage, or something a bit more tangibly advantageous.)
Mention any of these other ideals and “You’re anti-free market!” they baa, while hoisting a flag featuring a foot emblazoned with an apple, polychromatic “G,” small blue bird, etc. about to step on a snake saying “Tread on Me!”
Because really, why shield your liberties from Big Government, but not Big Tech? Information is power and which do you think has more info: the U.S. government, or Google? And also because you’d have to be a real asshat to plop the future of the Nation into the laps of the eldritch nerd herd.
Listen to your gut.
Do you really trust Khosrowshahi, gazing with pitless, pitiless black holes, greedy to gulp down you and your dignity?
Do you really trust bearded hipster tyrant Jack Dorsey with his “healthy conversations” masking an obscene right-wing luminary body count?
Do you really trust Sundar Pichai after his barbaric ousting of Damore and open declaration of war on free speech with the “Good Censor” memo?
Do you really trust Tim Cook with his zealous cult of neurotic millennial iStooges (never mind Foxconn, the lies, and the lawsuits)?
Do you really trust jeans-wearing lizard Mark Z*ckerberg?
The digital matador bewitches, wheeling us this way and that with his gaudy smoke and mirrors. Will you play his game?