You’ve probably heard of the G.I. Diet, the Atkins Diet, and the Zone Diet, but could we be on the cusp of a brand-new eating fad? Namely, the ISIS diet, which apparently worked wonders for one tubby terrorist even if it was involuntary.
According to Metro UK, Hamza Parvez left his home in the affluent neighbourhood of West London five years ago to help establish an ISIS caliphate in the Middle East, but it wasn’t long before he began pining for jolly ol’ England while carrying out atrocities in Syria.
It seems there’s a dearth of fast-food outlets in the war-torn areas, and Hamza endlessly whined about being deprived of such food, especially Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Hamza wasn’t much of a terrorist and was recently captured and taken alive by Kurdish-led forces, so not only did he lose 70 pounds, but he’s also lost out on enjoying paradise with 70 voluptuous black-eyed virgins.
He’s now rotting in a Syrian jail where he likely dreams of West London and all those out of reach deep-fried fast-food delectables. And things aren’t likely to improve anytime soon either as the U.K. stripped more than a hundred dual nationals of their British citizenship after they travelled to join ISIS.
Hey, Hungry Hamza – you want fries with your new slimmed-down citizenship?