August 28, 2015

Ladies, unless you're "rich or incredibly talented," focus on motherhood instead of career

Gavin McInnesArchive

When you tell women they'd be happier at home, they point out successful career women who are better off in the workforce. This anecdotal evidence doesn't change what is generaly true but it's worth looking at.

Can women really have it all?

There are some who have pulled it off but they tend to be incredibly well educated, wealthy, and talented.

If you are one of these exceptions go bananas and let those ovaries dry. If not, don't.

We are living in a world where women's self esteem is so high, they all think they're the exception to the rule. Basic biology doesn't care what you think.

So let's all stop pretending and get back to breeding.

It's not just what was naturally meant to be. It feels good too.

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commented 2015-09-13 07:36:41 -0400
I fit the profile ranted about here and you know what? I agree – although I bet the actual number of women who are truly happy and fulfilled by motherhood is probably more like 65%. I love being a mom – best job ever – but it really isn’t for everyone.

I’m the main breadwinner in a family I didn’t start producing until I was in my mid 30s. The main reason for that: I was caught up in a going-nowhere relationship until I was 31. Thank God I found my husband and had my babies in the end, but here’s the rub: without being in the position to have kids for all that time, I worked … cuz, that’s what a hard-working no-nonsense girl with half a brain does. I did well. So now, I’m successful. The bigger earner – by a lot. My husband is no slouch but he is no house-husband either. He really wouldn’t do as good of a job as me on the home front until the boys are teenagers, and that’s a long way off. He has been trying for years to get into a position where I can quit my job and stay home without sacrificing things like college funds but despite our best efforts we just haven’t been able to do it. The money question stops us. And that kills me. I’m lucky in the sense that I work long days and short weeks – so lots more time with my boys than your typical working mother. But it ain’t enough. Not by far.

We’ll get there. We are willing to downsize, sacrifice the material. We’ll find a way to get me home at least for a while.

What’s the bigger answer to all this? Don’t know. I do know that feminism gave women a whole new set of choices and I sure am grateful for that. Unfortunately, it also took a choice away – classic motherhood is no longer a clear option. I wish there was a way to get that back, without sacrificing the freedom for women who would rather be at the office.
commented 2015-09-09 22:16:24 -0400
Yes. This. Just this. I have tried to make this point, but I don’t have the ambition or the guts to make it public.

I’m incredibly talented. Have been forever. But, I also have a mental illness, and lack the drive and ambition that even most women don’t have. I have even less…

I’m a musician, (and a good one at that). But, to actually pursue it, and make it a reality… it requires a lot of work and effort, and frankly, I’d rather take care of part of the house I live in, and cook and not have to worry about it.

I am unclear if I can even have kids, but focusing on both would just be detrimental to my health. I definitely don’t want to throw out the “mother & housewife” scenario, and I would (and will) choose that. Over grueling hours with a guitar, or drumsticks in my hands, trying to be one more “Taylor Swift” of the world. (No offense) to her, she’s lovely and fantastic, but we really don’t need anymore. Oh, (did I) mention the gruesome blisters you get, from both (guitar & drums)? Yikes. And ouch. Just, ouch. (Oh, P.S. My manicure doesn’t like it, either).

On top of all of that, lyrics are personal. You are sharing your diary with the world, when you are a successful female musician. Not a thing this lady wants to do. I would rather be at home, protected and loved and cared for, by gasp a man. (I’ll be his cheerleader, though)!!

I cannot handle both. Nor do I want to handle both. I’d rather be behind the scenes, honestly.
commented 2015-09-08 07:16:35 -0400
Gavin, you’ve raised an important issue. Unfortunately, the way you went about it forced me to stay off The Rebel until I overcame my initial apoplectic reaction. Quite frankly, I was pissed off.
It’s not a myth that women — or men, for that matter — can have it all. It’s just far less common and much more difficult for women to achieve “it all” — i.e. both a family AND a career — than men. Far more pressure is placed on women than men to reproduce (and do so while they’re young), in the first place. Second, no one bats an eye at a stay-at-home mom, but stay-at-home dads are still very much stigmatized, so it’s no wonder demographics haven’t changed all that much when it comes to which parent spends more time on children and household-related tasks. I think it has a lot to do with the obstinate male ego unconsciously harbouring last-century chauvinist conceptions of ideal masculinity. Perhaps Gavin, you could explore this in more detail for your next piece?
Whether the sexism was conscious or unconscious, your suggestion that women who aren’t multi-millionaire superstars of their respective fields should refocus all their energy on breeding is incredibly demeaning. How are you measuring individual career success, by the way? Do you not see the glaring problem with applying such unrealistic standards to determining a woman’s career value while at the same time ignoring that of men? Instead, you simply call them “horny” idiots for not marrying and impregnating women in their mid-twenties (i.e. right out of graduation but before starting a career, and most importantly, while they’re still in their prime, child-bearing years) when they have the chance.
I agree, a lot of men in their twenties and thirties are horny idiots, but your example of the 29-year-old man breaking up with his GF after dating through their mid-late twenties is flawed. Did you ever pause to consider that in about half those cases it was likely the other way around, and the twenty-something year-old woman kicked the man to the curb? Maybe even precisely because he was a horny idiot, and she was smart enough to realize it?
By your logic, you’re proposing that women of average skill and intelligence have some sort of societal duty to breed with any man, regardless of that man’s intelligence, skill, etc., while men are merely guilty of missing out on an opportunity to knock up women while they’re still in their twenties and haven’t really had a chance to make something of themselves professionally. Newsflash: women are under no more of an obligation than men to reproduce, and are just as free as men to choose whether to pursue a career, a family or both. Women should also be as equally supported as men in making and exercising these fundamental life choices, but they aren’t. Your latest video just proves my point.
Instead, women are bombarded by external and internal pressures far beyond anything experienced by men (and way beyond their comprehension), such that no matter what life women choose they’re forced to compromise. Stay-at-home moms look down on (but secretly envy) career women, and vice versa. Women who claim to “do it all” look down on (but secretly envy) women who choose one or the other but not both. And none get the respect they deserve from each other, or from their male counterparts. No course is “easy”, as you put it, yet you appear to be saying that a woman who chooses to marry, have kids and raise a family instead of devoting herself to a particular career, automatically gets an “easy” life. If giving birth and raising a family is so easy, why is it that there aren’t more men doing it, I wonder? Especially as it’s such an important job, after all.
Why do women apparently have no excuse for not devoting themselves to children and family unless they’re Tina Fay or Barbara Corcoran, but men (even if they’re horny idiots) are encouraged to knock up and marry their college girlfriends as soon as possible, and after firmly installing them at home, barefoot and pregnant in front of the stove, are somehow entitled to guiltlessly pursue their so-called careers?
I’ve heard Gavin go on about how back in the stone age, women relied on men’s strength and skill as a hunter/provider, but this isn’t the stone age. Hunting to survive is no longer necessary and “provider” has taken on a multiplicity of meanings, most of which are irrespective of gender.
In this case, Gavin, you really put your foot in your mouth.
commented 2015-08-30 16:51:03 -0400
Watch this one all the way through. It’s Gavin’s fellow anti-feminist, Roosh. He wants all us white Canadians to check our white privilege which he says is the reason Canadians spoke out so vehemently against his pro-rape, “women must submit to men”, Islamic views. He calls Canadians – not just feminists but what he calls "the whole establishment – “Islamophobic”.

You all on board?
commented 2015-08-30 13:53:07 -0400
Marie Kazin wrote: “I am a woman, I am a mother”. THEN wrote: “babies are a huge nuisance!” And then at the end of her comment: “It is time to cut down on this mass of two-legged parasites.”

Does ANYONE else see a problem with this hypocritical comment? Sadly this is not a unique incident. I have seen MANY cases where women have had like minded thoughts. They weren’t in jest either. This is the sort of B.S, left wing femi-nazi garbage that today’s women are being force fed every damn day! Gavin has a limited point, even though parts of it are on the extreme range. Not that I take him too seriously either, as his posts are meant as satirical. But the points he hits home on, are very simple: Not all women are cut out to be career women. There are many who are, don’t get me wrong, but not all. There are a lot of women I personally know who are content on staying at home and raising their children. And that’s not just limited to women. I know men who choose to be stay and home dads. This is a very broad subject, and when and if I get the time in my schedule to do so, I will write a blog piece about it for ANY who are interested.
commented 2015-08-30 08:47:24 -0400
Prince Knight – You just proved my point. I did not accuse you of lying. I suggested you are mistaken in your perception.

In misreading what I said, you projected onto me what you expected – a hateful and mean accusation. Trouble is, Prince, I made no such mean and hateful accusation.

You saw what wasn’t there.

Read again what I said and how I said it and recognize, for your own peace of mind, that you project your own hostility onto others. Once you recognize that truth, you can change it because while you have no power over others, what we say and do, you can change yourself.

You can learn to listen accurately to what is said instead of always projecting a hostile response onto others. It’s a defence mechanism. You do it to protect yourself. You think if you steel yourself for what you expect – an attack – that it won’t hurt as much. Trouble is, you miss out on the nurture of benign and friendly conversation.
commented 2015-08-30 08:38:24 -0400
Rick – Right on!
commented 2015-08-30 08:37:09 -0400
Keith – Indeed!
commented 2015-08-29 18:31:37 -0400
JOAN, I have just read the Sun News link, that you posted. Mulcair is clearly exposed for what he is, a person who is ready to destroy his Country,just to enhance his career.
I immigrated to Canada back in March 1968, from London UK. When I applied to Immigrate, I had to prove that I had a trade and also had enough money to establish myself and find a job. Mulclair wants to pay OAS to the Grandma’s of Immigrants. This man is disgusting. Perhaps he should do what his wife tried to do, become a Politician of, his other country, France.
commented 2015-08-29 16:49:05 -0400
Consider…… Mr Mom! I know a couple of families like that. They did not want strangers raising their kids and for one parent to stay home for that important task. It just did not necessarily mean the woman who became the chief breadwinner. The men ended up taking part time jobs to enhance income outside of the chief breadwinners work hours. It seems to work for them, and nothing wrong with. I also know families that do the opposite. At the end of the day, it is all about choices!
commented 2015-08-29 13:33:01 -0400
The title made me laugh

As a man the fact is we cannot have children without women – and they are being conditioned to believe that is not a valuable contribution to society. In fact it is my belief that women are not having children because they are starting to believe being a mother makes them a second class citizen.

So far no one has been able to prove me wrong – lots of denials but so far no on has proved me wrong. And having two kids or less guarantees the extinction of society as we know it and the rising of a new power in Canada – ’slam – who average 6-8 kids – that are mostly paid for by YOUR tax dollars
commented 2015-08-29 12:10:36 -0400
Joan: in the second paragraph of your response, you wrote, "Just please consider that maybe you aren’t seeing what you think you do, that maybe career women, in general, do not disdain careerless moms. "

Thank you for effectively accusing me of lying, when you weren’t even there.
commented 2015-08-29 08:37:58 -0400
Got to say, I’m a huge fan of Gavin McInnes, but this segment rubbed me the wrong way. I think people like Sarah Silverman, or Amy Schumer are awful vile comedians and find their acts morally repulsive. Amy Schumer who just made a film about how “monogamy is unrealistic” and how binging and sleeping with everyone from sophmores to homeless people will one day lead you to a prince charming dotor for a husband- pure utter b.s. These two women are the epitome of the anti-family movement. So I don’t understand this, praising of these vulgar women who are literally anti-family, on the one hand, and then go on to make this- women would be happier if they had kids segment. I mean maybe if people like Sarah Silvermen or Amy Schumer especially played less of a role in our social culture, maybe we’d be living in a society that warrants and adorns the role of motherhood, as opposed to depicting it as something demeaning and of less worth like those two women do. I love Gavin McInnes, I think he’s funny, like that “Walk A Day In Her Shoes” segment had me in tears laughing, but this is all over the place, like I literally couldn’t tell if at first he was being sarcastic.
commented 2015-08-29 06:03:09 -0400
Welcome to 1920.
I have nothing against women making babies, but they should at all time be welcomed and encouraged to shoot for the moon, even though like most of us they will only make it part way.
commented 2015-08-29 05:28:17 -0400
Gavin, your commentary is extremely male chauvinistic! I am a woman, I am a mother, I am NOT extremely rich or extremely talented, but I will NEVER be happy to give up my career and stay at home! Besides, YOU don’t know what it is to give birth and to breast feed and take care of babies! Not everybody wants to have kids – childbirth is EXTREMELY painful, breast feeding is EXTREMELY painful and unpleasant, and babies are a huge nuisance! Why would anyone in their right mind go through excruciating pain repeatedly in their lives to just experience once more the joy of parenthood? Motherhood is severely overstated and having kids is not a must in our time and age. There are close to 8 billion humans in this world. It is time to cut down on this mass of two-legged parasites.
commented 2015-08-28 23:58:29 -0400
Gavin, I like your intellect, which is robust to say the least, but I have what I think is a constructive suggestion as regards your commentaries, which I also like a lot, with one exception: your tendency to lace it with profanity from time to time. I don’t feel it adds to your presentation; rather the opposite. You recently did a commentary on how your life was improving because you stopped masturbating. I’d like to suggest you try stopping swearing in your commentaries and see if the power of your words doesn’t increase in its persuasiveness, rather than decrease. I had a counselor in junior high school many years ago who told his students that if we could turn off the swearing when our parents were present, then we could turn it off when they weren’t present, and we would be better thought of for doing that. I have never found that advice to be wrong in any way.
commented 2015-08-28 23:31:11 -0400
Keith – Yes, I understand about fertility rates. In Canada, though, First Nation fertility is growing at a good rate and most FN are Christian. I think your video failed to factor that in.

But yes, the west is in a mess. Not because women want equality, though.

Listen. Fertility rates aren’t the only factor in the equation. We are likely going to war with Iran once Obama is out of office. That will directly affect the spread of Islam. Not to mention world population which currently exceeds seven billion and rising.

Humanity is in for a bad time of madness and tears, I’m afraid, a horrible global conflagration. That, much more than fertility rates, will determine the future.

We have to fight and conquer Islam. No doubt about it. But we can’t win that war by subjugating women, by competing with Iran for which religion is more misogynistically oppressive.

Western democracies are protected by our rules of law. In order for Muslim fertility to replace our culture, they must succeed to displace our rule of law. They don’t yet have the numbers to do that and before they do, we will go to war to defend our freedom, the freedom God gave us to choose to sin or to do good. And make no mistake, our women will fight right alongside our men.
commented 2015-08-28 23:06:18 -0400
Lynda – The individual freedom is the thing. You made a different lifestyle chice than the majority and love your life. Can’t get any better than that. Good for you !!

Like Dostoevky said, the purpose of the individual is to be happy.
commented 2015-08-28 23:03:00 -0400
Prince Knight – So you are saying you cannot cite any documented examples, only personal anecdotes. Okay. But are you sure, then, that they illustrate your thesis that the disrespect you perceived women with only careers and no family display for woman with no careers who chose motherhood and families instead was because those they disrespected chose motherhood and family instead of a career and not because maybe a) they were having a bad day, b) the woman they disrespected disrespected them first, c) they have a history between them, or d) for some other reason? What I am suggesting is that while it may be true that there are some isolated cases of career women disdaining careerless moms, there are just as many cases of careerless moms disdaining career women, but that most women don’t do either, in fact.

Just please consider that maybe you aren’t seeing what you think you do, that maybe career women, in general, do not disdain careerless moms. Most career women have families, after all, and most mothers work, before they have children or after their kids grow up.

The snobbiest women I ever met were my mother’s friends and the wives of my dad’s business friends. Business executive class feel superior about money and think if their wives work, it reflects badly on them. Over and over again, as I grew up, I listened to my mom’s afternoon bridge club rip up one side and down the other the reputations of professional women in our community. It made me cringe.
commented 2015-08-28 20:26:37 -0400
Also had great parents and a great childhood, so that had nothing to do with my choice.
commented 2015-08-28 20:25:45 -0400
JOAN. I agree with what you are saying and respect your view. We are living in uncertain times right now. If you follow the link that I placed in an earlier Post, it may give you some food for thought.
commented 2015-08-28 20:25:10 -0400
Having it all means different things to different women. I am kid free by choice (also happily married and a world traveller) and love it, so according to my definition, that is part of having it all. Freedom.
commented 2015-08-28 19:06:39 -0400
How can I, Joan? You don’t live near where I do, so the examples I could post wouldn’t mean diddley to you, and you might claim I’ve made them up. But I’ve seen it, firsthand.
commented 2015-08-28 19:04:16 -0400
Prince Knight – It is not an either/or choice. Most women these days do both.

As to the working women (most women) you claim disrespect women who choose to have families (most women) can you be more specific? Can you cite some documented examples?
commented 2015-08-28 19:01:03 -0400
Jimmy – of course it is safe to have kids into your forties and fifties. Some even get pregnant in their sixties. With greater and greater life expectancies all the time, no need not to. (Except prejudice.)

The choice is the individual’s – as if women would listen to Gavin.

The ideal, in my view, is for women who have had good childhoods and have their physical, mental and emotional needs met to have their children in their teens and early twenties while finishing high school and undergrad studies. Then if they want a profession, their kids are already in school by the time they start their careers in their late twenties/early thirties and they have the cash to pay someone to clean and shop and they are home for dinner and evening time while their kids mature.

It’s called “having it all” Gavin et al.

Sadly, of course, or maybe not sadly, many, maybe most women and men need to recover and adjust for a while after leaving their parents, many, maybe most haven’t got the family support they need to fulfill such a plan. Many want to save some money first. Some would rather have no kids than raise them as they were raised; they seek independence above all else. But that is hardly a gender thing. It applies to both men and women who can’t “have it all” which, according to Gavin, means wealth and power.

Who needs it, eh, wealth and power?