March 30, 2017

Menzoid’s top 10 baby naming rules — inspired by a woman named “Titi”

David MenziesMission Specialist

Question for parents-to be: Is Titi a good name for a daughter? It should go without saying that if you don’t want your daughter to be subjected to boob jokes, then don’t name her Titi – especially if her surname is Pierce.

A Georgia realtor named Titi Pierce was in the news recently because Ellen DeGeneres made a breast joke about her name on national TV.

Pierce is especially upset given that although her name is spelled T-I-T-I, she pronounces the second "I" in her name as "E", so instead of titty it’s actually TIE-TEE (I think).

In any event, the joke so triggered Pierce that she decided to sue DeGeneres. The judge tossed the lawsuit and told her to “lighten up”, hence what could have been a tempest in a D-cup was averted and became a small victory for freedom of speech instead.

But there’s a bigger issue here. Namely, for all those parents expecting offspring in the months ahead, there’s nothing funny when it comes to the name game.

Researchers tell us that if you get saddled with a poorly chosen first name, get ready to kiss your career, your love life and even your freedom goodbye.

So, as a public service, watch as I provide a Top 10 naming guideline would-be parents must embrace if they don’t want Junior to end up on a shrink’s couch.

Comments
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commented 2017-03-31 15:12:52 -0400
So much going on in the world today… Islamic invitations for invasion in this in many other countries… struggling and failing financial systems including our own because people do not understand basic economics and sound money.! Politicians running personal bank accounts in the guise of trust funds and foundations..
Politicians acting treasonous in matters towards the country and its people’s with Governor General’s turning a blind eye to these actions but all we have to talk about is the follies of things like this.!!
Things like this only serves to prove how easily people are manipulated and distracted away from the more serious matters at hand.!!
commented 2017-03-31 04:03:36 -0400
You forgot an important one. If you don’t speak English, you may want to know what that ethnic name sounds like in English.
commented 2017-03-31 03:03:18 -0400
Now hold on there Dave!… These being the days of “deep conviction politics” I would suggest that those good folks of deeply held convictions tell the world – nay, shove it in the world’s face – by naming their kids to reflect beliefs, for the coming generations, by stamping their kids with names like: – Wind Farm!… or how about Solar Cell?… No?.. OK then, how about “Deep Cycle Battery”!… Or maybe to mirror the more social side of life, how about “Doobie”?.. or, more ballsy, how about “Protestor”!… Then of course there’s Tesla… (Although his “christian” (!) name was Nikola)… Given today’s breed of brats however, I would strongly suggest that a whole lot of them be named “Tantrum”…
commented 2017-03-31 02:20:50 -0400
Don’t give your boy babies girl names or your girl babies boy names. And yes names like Richard are great but not when your last name is Richards or Richardson. And calling your babies names that prevent identifying as to whether it is a boy or girl. Girl names like Madison, Jordan, Morgan or Tyler, just to be different and or trendy. Calling boys names that maybe spelled different from a girls still sound the same when spoken, like Gene, Francis, Cary. Calling girls, boys names, like Jerri, Sam, Billie. The worst are the oddball names like David mentioned but what I really dislike is the letter names like calling your kid BJ, JT, or CJ. Then there’s the two names before the surname that are always used when addressing that individual, like John Thomas, Billy Bob or Michael John.
commented 2017-03-31 01:49:31 -0400
Dweezil and Moon Unit come to mind.
commented 2017-03-31 00:49:02 -0400
If we had twins- a boy and a girl- I threatened to name them Angus and Agnes. My wife threatened to divorce me or worse if I tried.
commented 2017-03-30 23:02:21 -0400
“My name is Sue. How do you do?
Now you’re gonna die.”
commented 2017-03-30 22:11:23 -0400
You know what I can’t stand is when the oldest son’s name is the same as his father & then in order to figure out which of the two you’re talking about, they’re referred to as big John & little John, big Bob & big Bob, so stupid, like there are not enough names out there to choose from & later in life you can get into a lot of trouble having the same names.
commented 2017-03-30 21:24:01 -0400
if your last name is Dick, Dyck, or Dueck, don’t name your son Richard…
commented 2017-03-30 18:52:39 -0400
I think if you want a boy to grow up to be an independent man, who does not rely on others to do his thinking or other human functions, don’t call him Justin. Likewise, don’t call your girl Justine or Sophie.
commented 2017-03-30 18:51:27 -0400
Thanks David. Some names aren’t worth repeating!