February 21, 2017

Millennial “triggered” by EuroMillions lottery windfall

David MenziesMission Specialist
 

I hate to harp on millennials, the demographic that seems to excel at whining, always “triggered” by some trivial thing. But the story of twenty-one year old Jane Park surely ranks as the ultimate “boo-hoo” tale of a member of Generation Snowflake.

Jane Park won a million pounds in the EuroMillions lottery four years ago (more than $1.6M Canadian) and lived happily ever after, right? Wrong.

You see, Jane says this windfall ruined her life and she’d probably have been happier if if she hadn’t won anything.

Get your violins tuned-up for some tear-inducing harmonies as I relate the tragic tale. Poor Jane eventually became bored of relentless consumption. Alas, the ability to purchase anything she desired failed to deliver long-term genuine happiness.

As she told the Sunday People newspaper:

“I thought [the lottery jackpot] would make [my life] 10 times better but it’s made it 10 times worse. I wish I had no money most days. I say to myself, ‘My life would be so much easier if I hadn’t won.’”

Apparently, things were better when she lived with her mum in a small flat and earned eight pounds an hour.

But it gets worse. Jane plans to take legal action against the Camelot Lottery Corporation.

I say if she really wants to sue someone, perhaps the defendant should be the person staring back at her from a mirror.

I even have a headline for that courtroom drama: “Dumb versus Dumber”.

Comments
You must be logged in to comment. Click here to log in.
commented 2017-02-22 02:03:36 -0500
Well like others have suggested, give it to those who need it. Pretty simple solution, oh sorry , you are as phony as Justin’s IQ.
commented 2017-02-21 23:33:47 -0500
Another life time member of The Moron Club. She should have bought herself a nice home, and gone to school to learn whatever her heart desired and done some travelling when school was out. Got a nice car, some clothes and experienced what life has to offer. But this delicate little flower needs her fifteen minutes of fame. What she should spend her money on now at this point is a Psychiatrist, and don’t buy any more lottery tickets you stupid git.
commented 2017-02-21 23:01:47 -0500
Well I can help you find happiness, Jane.

Just cut me a cheque.

And if you want enlightenment, make it a blank cheque.
commented 2017-02-21 22:16:25 -0500
“Triggering” makes light of people who really suffer from PTSD.
commented 2017-02-21 19:20:14 -0500
Shoot her graveyard dead, and put her out of her misery. Then give whatever remains of her money to the poor and needy or some worthy charitable cause.
commented 2017-02-21 18:44:10 -0500
Maybe we are all just a little trigger happy.
commented 2017-02-21 17:28:34 -0500
Perhaps we are cursed with common sense.
commented 2017-02-21 16:38:00 -0500
If her lawsuit flops, she could file a complaint with our so-called Human Rights commission and likely win.
commented 2017-02-21 16:13:14 -0500
If she wins her suit against the Lottery, will she then sue the judicial system for awarding her too much money?
commented 2017-02-21 14:15:49 -0500
Well, when her case is thrown out, as surely as it will be if the court has any sense, and she’s nail for the court costs (exorbitant court costs I hope), that should make her poor again. Problem solved.
commented 2017-02-21 12:10:17 -0500
Well Jane, try helping others. That usually wotks.
commented 2017-02-21 11:46:17 -0500
I would be happy to help make her problem disappear.
commented 2017-02-21 11:43:36 -0500
I totally understand Jane Park’s opinion that Lotteries are triggering. I get triggered every time I lose. I think I will sue 649 for my lack of self esteem due to them constantly making me a loser. A lottery definitely a trigger in this day and age when every body is supposed to be a winner.
commented 2017-02-21 10:37:58 -0500
I do have to confess whenever I hear David Menzies say he hates to harp on something I can’t help but imagine him dawning his angelic wings and tuning up with the heavenly host with his cherubic smile front and center.
commented 2017-02-21 10:30:22 -0500
When asked what she would do with the money if she won she responded sheepishly rinse and repeat.
commented 2017-02-21 10:27:28 -0500
So if she sues the lottery board wouldn’t winning more money only compound her problem?
commented 2017-02-21 10:02:53 -0500
Tell the cunned stunt to ship me the money. Case solved. Thank you lefties for the political correct upside down world we live in today. The left in most part created the snowflake blizzard enveloping the world.
commented 2017-02-21 09:43:22 -0500
I guess this is the ultimate “Whiny Bitch”.
Why does she not move to a place where her wealth would be appreciated . . . perhaps some middle eastern shite hole would suit her.
Then her life would not be so boring!