If you think about it, there’s really no better candidate for a job at a company that aims to create “an Internet that truly puts people first” than someone from a country which consistently puts people last, behind both politically correct dogma, as well as the migrant hordes whose merciless ravaging it helps facilitate. It would seem that open-source titan Mozilla has discovered this basic truth, choosing to fill its head language police role with none other than a Swede.
Mozilla’s open innovation strategy director Patrick Finch recently suggested striking the word “meritocracy” from the company’s governance doctrine, which states, “Mozilla is an open source project governed as a meritocracy.” The executive believes it’s “problematic” to use the word “to describe communities that suffer from a lack of diverse representation” because it “proceeds from an assumption of equality of opportunity.”
Just so we’re clear, Finch, whose IQ seems to be that of the To Kill A Mockingbird lawyer divided by maybe like 10, doesn’t want Mozilla to use a word that assumes equality of opportunity on the basis that there hasn’t been equality of outcome. Oh, and just in case, for some inscrutable reason, you’re hesitant to completely throw the baby out with the bathwater, the director bolsters his argument by linking to an article by former Mozilla vice president of Firefox Johnathan Nightingale whose argument that straight white men should try “harder than most” to be “less of an ass” is even more of an abortion than the spelling of his first name.
As for the last name, what’s with these guys and birds? The avian finch and nightingale are much more pretty and, unlike Pat and John, their chirps and warbles don’t herald the decline of Western civilization. I know which two birds I’d kill with my stone, except I’m actually civilized and not Palestinian.
In case you’re wondering, Finch’s website lists his favorite film as the Soviet/Cuban propaganda piece Soy Cuba, his favorite number as 1917, the year of the Russian Revolution, and his favorite book as Orwell’s 1984, which I’m guessing he painstakingly scrutinized to become so proficient at Newspeak.
The director wants to modify Mozilla’s governance statement by adding some jargon about diversity and “debias.” In an ironic but unsurprising twist, there’s reason to believe that Finch and Mozilla open source and community specialist Emma Irwin, the proposal’s co-author, aren’t the most “debiased” individuals themselves. The former exec shared a petition to prohibit President Donald Trump from making an official State Visit to the UK because it would cause the Queen “embarrassment” and Irwin’s tweets about her desire to filter out American stories on Trump “on all technology, everywhere, forever” and “nauseating, panicked physical reaction” every day the president’s in office are frequently liked by her Mozilla colleagues.
But hey, let’s cut Mozilla some slack. It’s not as though this were the same company whose employees went ballistic in 2014 and pressured former CEO Brendan Eich into resigning after discovering that he dared make a $1,000 contribution to an anti-gay marriage proposition six years beforehand in 2008. You know, the same year then-senator and would-be progressive champion Barack Obama also clearly stated his opposition to the concept. Oh wait, it is the same company and Mozilla deserves to burn -- figuratively, of course!
Speaking of fire, Firefox’s share in web browsers has plunged from over 30 per cent in 2010 to under 10 per cent in 2016, with Chrome, Safari, and even Internet Explorer beating it out. At this rate, it’s a good thing Mozilla changed the web client’s name from Phoenix to avoid trademark issues -- saying it won’t be around forever would be generous. After trying Phoenix and before finally settling on Firefox, they tried “Firebird.” Again, what’s up with these nerds and birds?
And don’t think the push to ban meritocracy in the open source community is confined to Mozilla. In her “post-meritocracy manifesto,” which has garnered over 300 signatures in just a few days, self-styled “code witch” and transginger Coraline Ada Ehmke says, “We do not believe that our value as human beings is intrinsically tied to our value as knowledge workers.”
“Knowledge workers”? You mean people who actually know how to do their jobs? This is the vapid whinging of the fat kid who never got picked to play football at recess and, instead of playing another game or whoa I don’t know, losing weight or something, throws a fit until the teacher forces one of the teams to accept him. He’ll likely be relegated to an entirely superfluous position; in the STEM field, these posts are known as HR or “diversity and inclusion”. And while unnecessary, they’re most certainly not unobtrusive.
No, it’s as if the fat kid, instead of just going off and being fat by himself, took it upon himself to badger and bully his teammates into also becoming fat, thereby impairing their skill as well. Do we really want our Silicon Valley vanguard captained by a cult of choleric, Marxist crybullies?