February 12, 2016

Tabarnak! Learn French-Canadian swear words with Quebec comedian Mike Ward

Gavin McInnesArchive

I lived in Quebec in the mid-1990s, so I talk to comedian Mike Ward about what's changed since then.


He says Quebeckers have mostly transferred their animosity from Anglos to Muslims!

Then we debate which French-Canadian curse words are the worst, what you can and can't say on Quebec TV, and talk about how weird it is that these weird swear words all reflect the province's Roman Catholic heritage.


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commented 2016-02-16 10:33:05 -0500
This one is for all those who really and truly believe that Canada is bilingual.
(Well, pretend for the sake of this joke anyway, okay?!

In Quebec , the French do not pronounce the letter ‘H’. For example Hot Dog is pronounced Ot Dog and Hudson Hardware is pronounced Udson Ardware.
They also insert an ‘H’ where there is none, by saying Hany (instead of Any) and Hall (instead of All). This explanation is for non-Canadians. They talk about Awks & Howls (hawks & owls!)
One day in a French Immersion Class for 1st graders, the teacher was asking her class to describe the use of Ozonol.
Little Mary got up and explained that she had fallen while roller skating and scratched her knee. She went home and her Mother cleaned the cut and put a bandage with Ozonol on her knee and it was all better.
The teacher was so proud and then asked other children if they had any explanation of the word.
Little Pierre raised his hand and started to explain. “Well Teacher, da udder nite, me an my fodder are watching da Montreal and Tampa Ockey Game. An den my mudder start to do da vacuum. Den, my fodder, yell at my mudder, ai, ai, ai, ai, Tabarnack Louise, put dat dam ting haway now or I’ll stick it up your hass ….Ose an all.”
commented 2016-02-15 17:46:37 -0500
Love the Sudbury dinner jacket Gavin!
commented 2016-02-14 16:03:54 -0500
Joe dimagio, it isn’t French that they speak in Quebec. Fils de peut, va te faire feutre
commented 2016-02-14 12:27:51 -0500
You’re right Sharon, I think Sacrament, et côlisse rank right up there in the curse scale.
commented 2016-02-14 12:21:22 -0500
émile get out of your tabernacle , most all of quebecers swear, not only vulgar comedian, mix with the common taxpayers I’m sure you’ll be offended all the time, and what really upset me is when a useless separatist use the name of the baseball Saint : Joe DiMaggio, that… is offensive , it’s such a shame to be a nationalist in Qc. you hide behind a pseudo not to be laugh at.
commented 2016-02-13 12:19:12 -0500
Very disappointed in the Rebel posting such a vulgar comedian. Real believers and followers of the Catholic Faith should be shocked at such language. It is not acceptable anytime, anywhere. The Catholic Church we attend has many, many young families who would be scandalized at such language. The words used represent the holiest of holy, especially the communion host. No one would allow Canadians to slur Allah in such a way. If this were to happen the ‘’swearer would be brought to justice by Muslims, that’s for sure. Quebec has completely lost their former belief.
commented 2016-02-12 22:50:22 -0500
They forgot sacrement…then there is the variant of tabernac which is tabernoosh
commented 2016-02-12 20:51:30 -0500

Your province sucks. It has always sucked. It will always suck. And it is all because of Bloc voters like you. You deserve every bad thing the liberals and the PQ have been doing to you and your sucky province.

Have a nice day.
commented 2016-02-12 16:49:42 -0500
Child’s play.
You all want the most vulgar repulsive swearing and cursing: Hungarian, Serbian and Croatian. If I was to translate some of the milder ones into English, I would be deleted (and I wouldn’t write it anyway). Cheers.
commented 2016-02-12 16:15:50 -0500
The only frog word of frustration I know is tabernak, because they’s what frog hockey players says every time I take the puck away from them, which is often. ;-0

commented 2016-02-12 16:03:56 -0500
LOL. I am self taught in Spanish. Heck with French. In North America and South America Spanish is the most useful second language for a Canadian I think. English really is the language of Canada. The French need to know both to be functional outside of their province. To all you new Canadians…either learn English and assimilate or leave.
commented 2016-02-12 16:02:29 -0500
one of pets main legacies…bilingualism..govt mandated racism…. de udder multiculturalism…govt funded racism.
commented 2016-02-12 15:56:26 -0500
zoot alors…………..
commented 2016-02-12 15:36:52 -0500
JOE DIMAGIO said, anyone that doesn’t want to learn/speak french is not welcomed here. and never will be.
You break my heart Joe, I wanted to visit Quebec sooooo much – NOT.
Really, who cares whether YOU welcome people who don’t speak french into your province? Your province would not be around and you would probably be starving if it were not for the people outside of Quebec, many of whom do not speak the bastardized language you call French. It is the west that gives you and your backward corrupt province money, that you do not earn or deserve.
You are an arrogant frenchy, thank God not all people in Quebec are like you. I do know some decent ones, that would throw you and your ilk out.
Have a good day.
commented 2016-02-12 14:59:28 -0500
lol..joe the typical french canadian dumbo… that french speakers first policy of quebec has led to algerians, tunisians, moroccans and oh yes haitians.. enjoy..
commented 2016-02-12 14:24:17 -0500
Joe Dimagio said, “anyone that doesn’t want to learn/speak french is not welcomed here. and never will be.”

How about those French Canadians that come to Alberta and do not want to learn English? Do you have the same animosity towards them as you do English Canadians who come to Quebec and do not want to learn French? I am just wondering if your disrespect applies both ways.
commented 2016-02-12 13:45:06 -0500
JOE DIMAGIO commented 13 mins ago – you don’t speak french in quebec – you speak dialect french ( a rube brand of french ). And when speaking this dialect in Paris, no one understands.

Canada has spent 100s of billions over the decades so that 7 million people in the world can get their “rube french” protected from the rest of the world.

Is it worth it? No one speaks this dialect french outside of Canada, so the answer is no.
commented 2016-02-12 13:28:22 -0500
>Quebeckers have mostly transferred their animosity from Anglos to Muslims!

this is false. i have more respect for muslims than i will ever have for anglos that don’t speak french in our province. anyone that doesn’t want to learn/speak french is not welcomed here. and never will be.
commented 2016-02-12 13:24:00 -0500
maudit bâtard Trudeau and his maudit bâtard family
commented 2016-02-12 12:47:18 -0500
Swear words are only cool in North American English. Otherwise, it’s just crap.