Hey Dave! Thanks for writing such an inspirational post.
I went out to my local bookstore right away to immerse myself in some conservative writing.
True to form, however, none of the books you mentioned were available in that store or any other in the entire region of the province except for a single untouched copy of Werewolf Cop. When I mentioned it to my friends, they either said, “Sounds like the first season of True Detective but with a werewolf!” or “Awesome! Is it anything like the B-grade Canadian horror film Wolfcop, which I didn’t see and will probably never see but heard was great?”
That’s Canadian conservatives for you, Dave: Inspiration is something they’d prefer to avoid.
The landscape is littered with the corpses of websites, online publications, message boards, blogs, and political parties at the provincial level, all of whom have tried to inspire Canadian conservatives.
Other conservative hotspots are in a state resembling life, but could flatline at any moment. This includes the current federal government which has been off and on the ropes for the past decade.
The story is always the same:
* The attempt to inspire is launched with a great deal of hoopla, usually with the “backing” of several prominent names which can and will be yanked at any moment.
* The “silent majority” sits and waits while some more adventurous souls decide to step up to the table.
* The Left immediately crafts a narrative that the project is being supported by corporations, Americans, and American corporations -- as well as the Republican Party, the Koch brothers, and assorted fascist, Christian, and Christian fascist groups from around the world.
* If the tar sands can be implicated, so much the better.
* A history of everything unethical, insensitive or incorrect that everyone involved with the attempt has said or done is circulated and constantly referred back to.
* Worst (and most Canadian) of all, the whole process is denounced as IRRELEVANT and MISLEADING and ASTROTURFY. No “taxpayers” or “citizens” or “voters” really belong to or support this project (whatever it is), and if they do, they should be ashamed of themselves. Under this withering assault, supporters start to think twice.
Then the internal problems start.
* The establishment seems supportive, but isn’t following through on promises or returning emails. Why? Is it because That Guy who once screwed over someone on the team (or got screwed over) is telling people not to be involved?
* When the team tries to promote their idea, the response is not positive or negative but “We’ve never heard of you.” In many cases, this actually means, “We don’t want to hear from you. Stop bothering us.” The team can’t promote themselves because people aren’t donating, and people aren’t donating because nobody’s heard of them.
* Meetings drag on. Ideas go nowhere. Side conversations start happening. “This person has a side agenda.” “That person spends too much time with his family”. “She keeps dropping the ball.” “I heard that guy isn’t really a conservative”. “What are we getting for our time, exactly?”
* People fight over money. People quit over money they’re owed. People don’t get paid the money they’re owed because they quit.
* Finally, the attempt is abandoned, because it went bankrupt, because someone said or did something that angered the establishment, or because people just lost interest.
At a conservative convention, a former supporter of Action démocratique du Québec can run into an ex-Reformer from Alberta, and despite being divided by language, culture, and religion, they can bond over the story I’ve just told you.
So Dave, it looks like there is something that unites Canadian conservatives after all!
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