February 24, 2016

The Politically Correct Academy Awards Scoreboard

Spencer GibaraRebel Blogger

As we all must know by now, the Oscars this year has become a raging hotbed of racism, misogyny, homophobia and transphobia!

These old, white, male, classist, cis-gendered villains want nothing more than to keep all minorities down, and continue their oppressive regime.

These sinister members of the Academy have shown us that they select films based on quality, as opposed to films based on who is struggling the most. It’s blatant elitism! 

As a response to this disgraceful, disrespectful, dishonest, disheartening display of disgust towards the disenfranchised, I have crafted a scoreboard to keep track of this revolting ceremony, and show what the only, morally righteous winners should be.  

It’s similar to a drinking game, but because Muslims cannot drink, it would be Islamaphobic of me to include alcohol in this game. Instead, if they pick the wrong winner, participants must light Twitter up with at least 100 angry tweets towards the Academy. Use hashtags like #OscarsSoWhite #OscarsSoSexist  and #OscarsSoMaleDominatedItTriggersMe!

If they give the Oscar to the right candidate, then we can celebrate by patting ourselves on the back until our fragile arms hurt. Finally, if the Academy gets it right for all eight of the categories below, we must write an angry blog post complaining that the Academy only chose those winners because they were shamed into it, and that nothing has changed, because America is still a horrible, horrible place.

Best Picture
"The Big Short"
"Bridge of Spies"
"Mad Max: Fury Road"
"The Martian"
"The Revenant"

Mad Max is the only reasonable choice for this award. As a feminist, this film appeals to me, because it has a woman in a leading role tackling the patriarchal rape culture of a post-apocalyptic world. #Justice!

Best Director
Adam McKay, "The Big Short"
George Miller, "Mad Max: Fury Road"
Alejandro González Iñárritu, "The Revenant"
Lenny Abrahamson, "Room"
Tom McCarthy, "Spotlight"

As the only NON WHITE up for this category, the choice is simple. If the Oscars want to show us how inclusive they are, they MUST pick Alejandro González Iñárritu. Any other choice would be clear #RACISM!

Best Actor
Bryan Cranston, "Trumbo"
Matt Damon, "The Martian"
Leonardo DiCaprio, "The Revenant"
Michael Fassbender, "Steve Jobs"
Eddie Redmayne, "The Danish Girl"

Eddie Redmayne playing a transgender person warms my heart. He’s kicking down gender barriers and fighting the transphobic establishment. Of course, it’s frustrating that he’s a white male, but Hollywood just isn’t ready for a transgender person of colour. #OscarsSoWhite

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett, "Carol"
Brie Larson, "Room"
Jennifer Lawrence, "Joy"
Charlotte Rampling, "45 Years"
Saoirse Ronan, "Brooklyn"

This was a tough choice. All these candidates are beacons of feminism; however, I have to go with Cate Blanchett who plays a lesbian woman. Heterosexuality is a regressive power structure that harms equality! #LoveWins

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, "The Big Short"
Tom Hardy, "The Revenant"
Mark Ruffalo, "Spotlight"
Mark Rylance, "Bridge of Spies"
Sylvester Stallone, "Creed"

Completely and utterly repulsive choices here. FIVE old, straight, white, hetero, cis-gendered men? I’ve never been so triggered in my life! The mere existence of separate categories for men and women screams patriarchy. White men are celebrated every day, so I refuse to acknowledge any of these candidates, because doing so is racist and sexist.   

Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Jason Leigh, "The Hateful Eight"
Rooney Mara, "Carol"
Rachel McAdams, "Spotlight"
Alicia Vikander, "The Danish Girl"
Kate Winslet, "Steve Jobs"

Carol needs to win again, because these women did such a remarkable job portraying a lesbian relationship. Sure the movie was bad, but that doesn’t stop us from making social justice a reality. Homophobia exists, therefore Rooney Mara must win. It’s that simple!

Best Original Screenplay
"Bridge of Spies"
"Ex Machina"
"Inside Out"
"Straight Outta Compton"

As a social justice warrior fighting for civil rights, it was insulting to see that the movie "Straight Outta Compton" wasn’t nominated for Best Picture. Although I’ve never met any members of the Academy in my life, that doesn’t stop me from making sweeping characterizations about them. Clearly these people who I don’t know anything about are racist.

So what if "12 Years a Slave" won 2 years ago? So what if "Selma" was nominated for Best Picture last year? Clearly since then, their white guilt has worn off. We all know that progress in the black community can only be measured by what films receive Oscars. It would be a terribly sad day if this film doesn’t win.

Best Adapted Screenplay
"The Big Short"
"The Martian"

Finally, we have "The Big Short" which takes a sledgehammer to the capitalist system. These rich 1% animals made millions off hard-working Americans. We all know that this would never happen in a socialist society. It’s time to stand up against classism!

So that’s what the winners on Sunday night will look like, if the Academy Awards wants to attempt to redeem itself from it’s dark, depressing reputation as a hard right, neo-conservative, regressive institution run by Hollywood elite millionaires.


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commented 2016-02-25 18:07:56 -0500
So – imagine if we were to replace “black” with “white”

And the term “People of colour” – Is not white a colour?
National Action Network
This organization, led by Al Sharpton ,promotes a modern civil rights agenda that includes just and decency for all people regardless of race, social justice for communities, and the improvement of race relations.
Based in New York, New York

Rainbow Push Coalition
This organization, led by Jesse Jackson, is a progressive organization fighting for social change as a mighty coalition of workers, women and people of color.
Based in Chicago, Illinois

National Association of the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP)
A champion of social justice, that has fought long and hard to ensure that the voices of African Americans would be heard.
Based in Baltimore, Maryland

National Urban League
The National Urban League is a civil-rights organization focused on the economic empowerment of underserved urban communities. The National Urban League works through 100 local affiliates in 36 states and the District of Columbia to provide programming, public policy research and advocacy designed to improve the lives of more than 2 million people nationwide.

Miss Black USA

United Negro College Fund (UNCF)

National Black Child Development Institute (NBCDI)

100 Black Men of America

African American Planning Commission (AAPC)

African American Speaker Bureau (AASB)

Black Culinarians Alliance (BCA)

Blacks In Government (BIG)

Black Wall Street Merchants Association

Black Women In Sisterhood For Action (BISA)

National Association of Black Hotel Owners, Operators and Developers (NABHOOD)

National Association of Black Accountants (NABA)

National Association of Black Storytellers (NABS

National Association of Blacks In Criminal Justice (NABCJ)

National Association of Market Developers (NAMD)

National Registry of Black Baby Names

National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE)

American Association of Blacks in Energy (AABE)

The Association of Black Psychologists

The Executive Leadership Council

National Association of Black Accountants, Inc.

National Association of Black Journalists

National Black Business Council, Inc.

National Black Chamber of Commerce (NBCC)

National Black MBA Association

National Black Nurses Association (NBNA)

National Council of Negro Women, Inc. (NCNW)

National Coalition of 100 Black Women (NCBW)

National Medical Association (NMA)

Organization of Black Designers
commented 2016-02-25 13:59:43 -0500
My first impression of The Revenant was that I thought this was truly a golden age of film styled Oscar movie – the fairly accurate portrayal of an American frontier legendary event, with high budget epic extravaganza casting, extras, location shooting, period props/sets cinematography and quality screen play – until I saw the tell-tale poison dart of political corrected revisionist history and identity politics torpedo the story.

For those who have seen it I’ll leave it to your judgement of where the story strayed from historical correctness to political correctness because I don’t want to put out any spoilers for those who have not seen it yet. Suffice to say this could have been the benchmark standard for good film making thus far in this Millennia, however it fell far short of that by succumbing to the all to familiar reflex for the makers to morally and politically “judge” a historical event through the eyes of 21st century dyslexic PC sentiments.
commented 2016-02-25 01:20:48 -0500
Who cares what the academy chooses anyways , i learned young that they are phonies when they chose Annie Hall over Star Wars.
commented 2016-02-24 21:51:04 -0500
Those choices by The Political Correct Academy is how the Alberta, Ontario NDP and Federal Liberal governments act unfortunately!. (Some reality here in North America it’s not homophobia but rather homomania thats happening again unfortunately!.)
commented 2016-02-24 21:17:07 -0500
Agreed on all the choices, but not the last one.
The Big Short is WAY too white and male and straight to be even nominated.
Carol should win here as well. This movie would be perfect if one women were black Muslim and another one disabled Native American.