In this excommunication-worthy broadcast, I pick another fight with my old nemesis, the Pope.
Citing the moral authority of John Paul II and Spiderman, I chide the current Pontiff for neglecting the responsibilities that come with his great power. At a time when Christians are persecuted worldwide, as moral outrages like abortion for profit are exposed, I lament Francis' decisions to hector about "climate change," snuggle up to the Castro brothers, and preach his Peronist silly-bears about capitalism.
From there, I contemplate the ubiquity of environmentalist enforcement, with special consideration of Volkswagen and bike lanes. Public schools come in for yet more well-deserved scrutiny as bureaucratic tendencies toward segregation, affirmative action and control have come to bear.
The moral preening surrounding that clock kid gets a once-over, too. Say your prayers, gentle listener.
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