May 04, 2016

WATCH: Top 10 fun uses for your 2016 Census -- with Lauren Southern

StaffRebel Columnist

With Liberals grotesquely celebrating the mandatory 2016 Census, the Rebel's own Lauren Southern has provided a top 10 list of fun uses for your Census.

Using it as toilet paper, a hat and a coaster are just a few of the ways Lauren suggests.

Of course, as we reported, not filling it out can result in jail time.

All just to give Justin Trudeau and the Liberals an excuse to justify their overspending.

Can you think of any fun uses for your census? Let us know it the comments.


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commented 2016-05-05 15:07:13 -0400
I received the short form last night, a man come to the , we got discussing, and guess what , he’s a fan of the REBEL, I took note of his name on his tag , and further guess what ? , he is a fellow commenter on this site , and on our side , he doesn’t come on often, but what are the odds, from the bogs of Ireland to the bogs of the bogs of the Shuswap the REBEL is becoming the worlds biggest truth dispenser


LAUREN - I needed that laugh
commented 2016-05-05 11:27:48 -0400
“Can you think of any fun uses for your census? Let us know it the comments.”
Wrap the census form around a hard ball sized rock and give it back to Justin next time he comes to town…send a message!
commented 2016-05-05 09:52:49 -0400
Jay Kelly mews: " There is a presumption that people are generally honest."

The primary source of lies in our lives are from government and media – just return the favor.

Or are you under the illusion a huge entity which is predicated on lies and which lies to us and threatens us with a gun to our head is deserving of our trust or honesty.?

You make a perfect slave.
commented 2016-05-05 08:44:51 -0400
I wouldn’t use it for toilet paper, probably would get a paper cut. Imagine trying to explain to your significant other how you got a paper cut in you ass. awkward!
commented 2016-05-05 07:06:55 -0400
Use it as a basis for a Charter Challenge……most useful purpose of all.
commented 2016-05-05 03:06:03 -0400
That music gets stuck in my head every time I watch Jenna Marbles.
commented 2016-05-05 02:07:10 -0400
I feel the long form census disregards the rights and freedoms of Canadians under the Charter. The questions are too revealing especially considering your identity is a requirement. Why does the information need to be tied to a name? How is this respectful of our right to privacy from government? If it were truly confidential it would be anonymous. I object to Lockheed Martin an American company processing our information. I object to this invasion by the government. The short form could be stomached every 5 years but this long form is government intrusion and I resent it.

I haven’t decided exactly what I am going to do with mine, but one thing is for sure, I won’t be mailing anything in. If they want it they can come and get it. I may get around to considering filling it out eventually, once I get them to give or mail me a fresh one, since I dumped coffee on the first one, and no they can’t come in to help me fill it in. They will have to come back, and they will, countless times, because if they don’t get it filled in by me they don’t get paid. I won’t be giving them my phone number or email address either.
commented 2016-05-04 23:58:08 -0400
Who will be under-represented in the census results? Those who lie on the form. There is a presumption that people are generally honest.
commented 2016-05-04 22:56:54 -0400
I filled mine out online, just for spite.

The primary resident of my home is Winston Churchill, the residence has 27 rooms, he pays $100,000 a year in child support, his primary language is Occitan, and He got his PhD at the University of Karachi…

As for “sexual orientation”, he is madly in love with his pet rock ;)
commented 2016-05-04 22:11:20 -0400
Do NOT complete this census on line.

MAKE them mail you paper copy.

NEVER tell the truth

Benefits to this?

They do not own your computer, you are ensuring some government douche bag has a job reading your illegible handwriting – and there is fun in telling them nothing about you.
commented 2016-05-04 20:58:57 -0400
Great satire Lauren!

I threw mine into the garbage.
Maybe a homeless person will take the census number and fill it out for me. :-P

The last time they had the fake-mandatory census, the canvasser confronted me for not filling out the form.
He said a completed census results in $1500 in transfer payments per person.

I said, so if I don’t fill it out, the provincial government gets $0, and if I fill it out they get $1500?
I’ll make you a deal, I’ll fill it out for $750 cash in advance (a 50/50 gentleman’s split).
So the government has a choice, they can get $0, or the can get $750.
It’s pretty much a no-brainer.
But they chose the $0.
Their loss.

He said the government can take me to court.
I said, tell them I’ll see them in court then; and I know that…
a. they won’t do it.
b. I would totally win anyways even if they did, and would enjoy doing so.

I never heard back; so they can’t even follow through with their threats.
Don’t threaten somebody unless you can follow through; makes you look cowardly and illegitimate.

commented 2016-05-04 20:05:25 -0400
Haha… you Libertarians are a bunch of assholes.
commented 2016-05-04 19:37:36 -0400
Other use? Lie and submit he form. The guy that delivered me mine is not from the community. He did not meet my wife. He has no way of knowing that she is not a Kyrgy-Uzbek mix or is not. Only met me, and my Mongrel looks. I still think the vagrant cat that gets treats from me, major dog guy, counts as livestock…cat is short for cattle so the little starved cat definitely qualifies.

Have fun with that form. Might as well get some entertainment out of it.
commented 2016-05-04 18:59:30 -0400
Really disappointed that I wasn’t asked about ethnic origin, it’s always so enjoyable to check “other” and write in “Canadian.”
commented 2016-05-04 18:59:30 -0400
Really disappointed that I wasn’t asked about ethnic origin, it’s always so enjoyable to check “other” and write in “Canadian.”
commented 2016-05-04 18:59:30 -0400
Really disappointed that I wasn’t asked about ethnic origin, it’s always so enjoyable to check “other” and write in “Canadian.”
commented 2016-05-04 18:56:43 -0400
Trudeau can take his Long Form and shove it up his Jacksie, then someone can set light to what is left, sticking out.

Problem is, I doubt that there would be anything sticking out, not from Trudeau’s Jacksie.

A roll of wallpaper would be more fitting for Justin.

Commie Bastard.
commented 2016-05-04 18:06:34 -0400
Lauren – you is too funny!! – ahh the asswipe one – think that government paper would tear all the skin off ones ass!! – probably burn too!

1 in 5? So this is how incomplete the government does things – using 20% fact (if that – as I won’t be giving any long form info!) to make 100% decisions???
commented 2016-05-04 16:45:01 -0400
The Auditor General has said that the government cannot guarantee the security of your information.
Why would I send personal info thru the mail, or answer questions from some part time census taker who shows up at my door.
Sending personal info to some unsecured website is also not appropriate. So I do not see any options for sending personal info to a government who can’t protect it.
Plus! Everything they want, they already have! I can’t help it if government departments can’t communicate with each other!
commented 2016-05-04 15:45:13 -0400
Yet I thought a fire starter was a good one.
commented 2016-05-04 15:15:44 -0400
I must be one of the lucky ones. I found no questions in my census, and some reference to a website, but they did not provide a computer, nor someone to operate it. I put it back in the mail box.
commented 2016-05-04 15:11:50 -0400
A couple of the questions on the long form.
1.“Does this person have any emotional, psychological or mental-health conditions (anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, anorexia, etc.)?”
I can see the Liberals passing this info onto the RCMP to assist in the Trudeau gun grab program.

2.“Who pays the rent or mortgage, taxes, electricity, etc., for this dwelling”
3.“Is this dwelling in need of any repairs (not including desirable remodeling or additions)?”
4.“How many rooms are in this dwelling (don’t count bathrooms, halls, vestibules or rooms solely used for business purposes)?”
Having trouble with migrant housing? Stinks of Liberals trolling for migrant housing – any where but their neighborhoods of course.

I find the nature of these questions totally invasive and cannot fathom how they would in any way assist in community planning or for infrastructure, especially in the hands of the Libranos. According to some reports I have read, the Liberals want us to fill out the report online, to make it easy for them to integrate all our income tax filing from the CRA into the mix. A very nefarious, lefty scheme to say the least.
commented 2016-05-04 14:32:43 -0400
I got mine and filled it out the same day. Took me like 4 minutes. Absolutely nothing in it that was ‘invasive’. Basically name, age, and language for everyone in the home. Now it wasn’t the long form….so I don’t know about that one.
commented 2016-05-04 14:22:38 -0400
A paper airplane would be useful!
commented 2016-05-04 14:19:45 -0400
turdo use it as a tampon since you are such a girlie
commented 2016-05-04 14:18:28 -0400
Just another thing Bernie Trudeau can shove up his ass while bent over!!!

You’re an irritating doche bag Trudeau!!!