Darn it, leftist Greek PM Alexis Tsipras! You had one job, which was to inspire left-wing parties around the world to tell the banks to shove their fancy-shmancy "debts" and "deficits" and throw all spending restraint to the wind.
But you couldn't even get that right. You thought rejecting the first German plan was enough, and you decided to call it a day and accept another austerity plan which is in some ways harsher than Merkel's.
It's so disappointing when these left-wingers lose their nerve. Not just because I got myself all psyched up for the apocalypse only to be let down, but because in the coming few days we're going to hear all about how global capitalism struck again, turning Tsipras into just another lackey of the banks and how the fight against restraint must continue until we finally get true people's power.
For his part, Tsipras fell back on the "creating a conversation" argument, which not so coincidentally was the same excuse the left used after the failure of the Occupy Movement. Yes, we embarrassed ourselves and failed horribly, but at least we trended on Twitter!
I suppose that's all you can really ask these days: a trend up, a trend down. Tsipras nudges the global economy towards the edge, the EU politicians nudge it back. A credit downgrade here, a bit of tax relief there. Do nothing by halves that can be done by quarters.
Meanwhile, just below the surface, the anger and frustration continue to bubble. The OXI-morons craved the destruction of the world markets and freedom to do as they pleased without consequence. They will not be dissuaded from that goal no matter how many times Merkel, Hollande and the rest manage to contain them. If they lose patience with Tsipras and Syriza's game of inches, they will find someone even crazier and put them on the throne, and then repeat until they reach the desired consistency.
But I am no good at deluding myself, so I must acknowledge that it's not just the left who plays the game. Just look at the Republican primaries, where oceans of ink are being spilled talking about the positives and negatives of the various logos, and why the 15th person to enter the race is someone you should take seriously.
All of this onanistic analysis - which likely won’t mean diddly squat by the time the election rolls around - is tremendously boring and nearly impossible to follow, which is why Donald Trump is sucks the oxygen out of the room every time he tops himself with another wackadoodle statement.
Some think Trump is insane, others think he's crazy like a fox. It doesn't matter, because Trump has had the carpet yanked out from under him by Obama and the Democrats before, and when it happens again he will sit there with that stupid little scowl on his face and say nothing. Because he can be shamed into silence, Trump, like Michelle Bachman, Herman Cain, and Rick Perry last time around, is a pretender to the throne.
The growing number of pissed off people worldwide don’t want someone who will blush or stumble. Only King Arthur could draw Excalibur from the rock, and when it comes to achieving Peak Crazy, many are called but few are chosen.
Now, I can certainly appreciate that the sensible minded among us will do everything they can to hold things together and will recoil at any suggestion that we just let the fire burn itself out, but let’s be honest: We all know Armaggedon is coming, so might as well get it over with.
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