The Ethan Couch story made worldwide headlines in 2013 when the then 16 year old dodged a deadly drunk driving charge thanks to his legal defence team arguing that he wasn’t responsible for his actions because he was infected with “affluenza”.
Affluenza is a made-up word to describe how someone raised in the lap of luxury would never develop the ability to distinguish right from wrong due to a pampered lifestyle.
After getting tanked up on about three times the legal limit of alcohol, Couch got behind the wheel of a pickup truck and caused an horrific accident resulting in four deaths and two serious injuries.
But, a psychologist testified that Couch was the victim here, due to that debilitating case of affluenza, and the spoiled bastard was given just ten years probation.
Precious Ethan would never have to spend a day in jail provided he followed his probation conditions, but it seems that bug is hard to shake and, as we saw once his helicopter mommy got involved to shield Ethan from the consequences of his actions, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
So how about some tough love instead? Maybe the only way to purge this awful affluenza from his system is to make him go cold-turkey by dispatching him to a destination known for its “Poverty-enza.” How about Haiti, Sudan or North Korea?
Maybe a decade or so in one of those shite-holes will eradicate the dreadful affluenza from his system once and for all.